Akatsuki's Child
by kwlgirlbec
Summary: Long before the downfall of Akatsuki, one small child had them wrapped around her little finger from the day she was born. Now follow Aiko as she grows under the watchful gaze of Akatsuki, learning the skills vital for a world-dominating antagonist including: terrible puns, deadly origami, and a pink abomination of an outfit she'd rather forget. (Marked complete for Part I)
1. Chapter 1 - The Pain of Childcare

**Chapter One - The Pain of Childcare**

Pain watched as the little girl sat amongst the mass of toys he had acquired for her, internally sweat-dropping as she passed each and every one of them to focus her blue eyes on a stack of paper far bigger than herself. Pushing herself off the floor with her dainty arms she grabbed at the stack, finding herself being scooped up into the arms of one of the six orange-haired guardians watching her with swirly eyes.

"You must be more careful," Pain scolded her as the stack of paper collapsed, his eyes softening from afar as her head hung low, causing her lavender locks to hide her face.

Depositing her on the floor, now covered in paper, he watched as the girl of three years began to pick up the paper, her eyes watering slightly as she gazed at it.

"What is wrong, Aiko?"

Pain frowned as the girl let out a low whine, stepping back as the guardian with long orange hair stepped forward and placed a hand on top of her head. The face of Konan flashed before his eyes.

"I know you miss your okaa-san, but I promise she will be back soon."

The man watched as Aiko pouted, pursing her lips and puffing up her cheeks.

"What can I do to make it better?"

The girl lifted her head shyly, a sly smile on her face as she turned to the guardian with a ponytail.

"Kitty?" she pleaded, blue eyes shining.

"Very well," the guardian nodded, placing a palm onto the floor and summoning six ginger felines.

Aiko let out a shriek, scooping up all six felines in an impressive display of strength and dexterity for a toddler. Somewhere in Konohagakure, the mission delegates shuddered, fearing the rise of a ninja era in which Tora the cat is captured in record time.

"Fly, fly!" she chanted, still clutching the ginger felines.

Pain lifted his hand slowly as the cats jumped from her grasp, circling below her feet as she hovered off the ground and let out a high pitched giggle. Her arms stretched out for the paper on the floor, and Pain obliged, watching as she clasped two sheets of paper.

"Look, oji-san. I'm okaa-san," she shrieked, flapping her arms around gleefully, treating the sheets of paper as if they were her wings. "Birdies!"

The animal path obliged, placing his palm on the ground and causing a mass of robins to emerge, each taking flight to swirl around the girl.

"Ride, ride!" she cried, looking to the animal path expectantly.

"Don't you think you have enough summons to play with?" Pain stated, looking towards the cats that were now eyeing up the birds, their tails swishing furiously.

"But, oji-san," the girl whined, her blue eyes shining as she pouted.

Before her heavy gaze, the man behind Pain willed himself to stay strong.

XxX

Konan flashed through multiple hand signs, the seals on their current location unlocking to cause half a zoo to come running out, a turtle following slowly behind them. Coming across Aiko's play room, Konan gave Pain a hardened look as scraps of paper covered every inch of the room, patted down by multiple animal tracks, including a giant one that looked like an elephant. Before her, little Aiko was brushing the hair of the animal path, having already given the human path french braids.

"Okaa-san!" the girl cried, kicking off the ground and floating towards her mother who caught her in her arms.

"What have I said about making demands, Aiko?" the woman said pointedly, touching her finger to the point of the girl's nose.

Aiko looked sheepish, shrugging her shoulders to plead ignorance as Konan moved the girl to her hip.

"You're spoiling her," Konan murmured, her eyes narrowed on Pain's form, her words directed to the man behind his actions.

"How is the new recruit?" Pain choose to ask, opting to change the topic.

At this, Aiko's eyes lit up, turning to her mother eagerly.

"New friend?" she asked.

"That's right, Aiko. Okaa-san made a new friend today," Konan cooed, using her hand to sweep the stray hair that swept across the girl's face.

"I wonna meet, I wonna meet," she chanted, squirming against her mother's grasp.

Konan lowered the girl onto the floor, who ran to grab a piece of paper and some crayons, before looking up to her mother expectantly.

"Not right now, little one," Pain nodded, watching as the girl let out a whine at not being able to add the new member to her wall.

Huffing, Aiko ran to her super special wall, gazing affectionately at all her friends. These consisted of a paper chain of stick men, one with lavender hair, six orange squiggles, one with what looked like a cacti on his head, two black lines with two bright green ovals in between, a bright red X, one surrounded by string, and one with a variety of red lines on their face who clutched a twig. The one thing they all had in common was their bodies, all of which were coloured with red swirls surrounded by black to represent the cloaks each of them wore.

"Soon?" the girl asked, looking up to Pain and Konan with puppy-dog eyes.

"Soon," Pain confirmed, earning himself a glare from Konan.

XxX

"And who is this?" Orochimaru grinned, looking down at the child before him with lavender hair.

"Aiko," the girl half-shouted, bowing before Orochimaru.

"She is Konan's brat," Sasori informed his new partner from Hiruko's body.

"How interesting," Orochimaru commented, stretching out his hand towards the girl.

His hand twitched back as a giant sword was placed between the two, Juzo flashing his sharp teeth at the man from within his red lattice of face markings.

"Don't go getting any ideas," the swordsman warned. "Pain-sama has instructed me to ensure her safety."

The girl seemed unfazed by the display of power, her blue eyes peeking out over the sword as she looked towards Orochimaru expectantly.

"Friends?" she questioned him, causing the Sannin to smirk as he narrowed his yellow eyes on her small form.

"I don't know," the snake drauled, causing the girl to blink at him. "Why would I want you to be my friend?"

"Cus I want you to be," the girl huffed, folding her arms as if the answer was obvious.

"A word of warning," Hiruko grumbled. "The girl has Pain wrapped around her finger, and unless you don't want to die a cruel death, I suggest you accept her offer."

"Is that so?" Orochimaru smirked, looking down at the girl. "Then perhaps we should be friends."

The girl smiled, her cheeks lifting in glee as she rushed to claim some paper and crayons. Orochimaru watched with interest as the girl crafted a paper figure, colouring its head with yellow orbs and long black hair before finishing it with the signature cloak. Once her work was complete she ran to the man, eyes shining as she handed him the paper doll.

"You," she breathed, looking up to him expectantly as she pointed towards the doll.

The snake-Sannin looked amused.

"Play?" she requested, hearing a huff from Hiruko.

"She only accepts high ranking jutsu," Hiruko advised.

Orochimaru grinned, "very well."

Aiko watched with interest as his skin began to flake, scrunching up her nose in disgust as it began to shed onto her shoes. The Sannin lowered his head, his neck snapping up so that it stretched beyond reason, lurching at the face of the little girl who didn't bat an eyelid.

"Giraffe-no-jutsu?" she questioned, frowning at his long neck.

Juzo burst out laughing, watching as the girl sighed in disappointment.

"Sasori-san, Sasori-san," the girl called, rushing over to sit in front of Hiruko. "Play!"

Orochimaru retracted his neck, waving a hand in front of his face to restore his original form. His eyes narrowed on the girl, watching as she clapped her hands at the appearance of two small puppets, each of them donning Akatsuki cloaks.

"Don't worry about it, Jiraffe-san," Juzo chuckled, patting the Sannin on the back and earning himself an amusing glare. "Sasori is her favourite to play with, other than Pain-sama of course."

Juzo watched as Orochimaru approached the child once more, staring down at her as she watched the two Akatsuki battle a giant white snake puppet.

"And what jutsu can you perform exactly?" Orochimaru scoffed.

"Dunno," the girl shrugged.

"Well how are we supposed to play if you don't know any jutsu?"

Aiko turned to the man, tilting her head at him.

"Teach me?" she questioned, her lips slanting slightly.

"I suppose I could," the Sannin smirked, eyes alight as the girl gave him her devoted attention.

The sound of a whip echoed throughout the room as Juzo mimicked one with a shake of his head, watching as another member of Akatsuki fell under the thumb of a three year old girl.

_A/N: Hello! Wow, I am really excited to finally be getting this story out there. I've been sitting on it for a while and finally completed it to the end of Naruto Part I and decided I couldn't sit on it any longer. So please enjoy! There is a storyline, but honestly I like to make people laugh, so stay tuned if you love those die-hard 'must face palm for this character so much right now' moments!_


	2. Chapter 2 - Akatsuki's Academy

**Chapter Two - Akatsuki's Academy**

"School!" came the cry from a pouting Aiko, who folded her arms as she stood in front of Pain. "School, SCHOOL."

"No school, Aiko," Konan cut in sharply, before Nagato wilted underneath her demands.

"But you promised," she whined, tears creeping up into her eyes and threatening to spill over.

"We said that once you turned five we would begin to teach you in the ways of a shinobi, not attend an Academy," Konan reminded her, thinking back to the day she came home to find her three year old daughter hanging from the ceiling under the proud gaze of Orochimaru.

Of course, it wasn't until later that Juzo had revealed that Sasori had grown impatient with Aiko's undeveloped chakra system and had used his chakra strings to allow her to accomplish such a feat.

"But Orochimaru-sensei said that kids get to go to school to learn to be a shinobi," Aiko pouted.

"Most children do, Aiko, but you're special," Pain announced, his face blank as he rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Really?" the girl sniffed, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

"Yes, and that is why you get to do special training one-on-one with lots of Senseis."

"Yippee," Aiko celebrated, jumping up and down on the spot before going to get ready for shinobi training. "I'm gonna become a strong shinobi and help okaa-san and oji-san!"

The cry came from halfway down the hall, the promise registering with both of the adult shinobi watching her go. With her father's determination, they didn't doubt it would become true.

XxX

Kakuzu stared into the blue eyes of the little girl before him who had tied a black headband around her hair and stuck on a piece of paper with a red cloud drawn on in place of the metal forehead protector. His eyes settled on the Akatsuki cloak she had donned.

"If you truly wish to learn taijutsu, such an outfit will hinder your movement," he declared, eyeing up the cloak that hung limply from her form.

"Nut-uh," Aiko argued, taking a step forward only to trip over the long cloak and face-plant the floor.

Rubbing her face, she went bright red before taking off the cloak to reveal plain black training pants and a bright red t-shirt with a flaming shuriken on it, muttering something about 'being too hot'.

"It doesn't matter anyway, as I have no interest in teaching you," Kakuzu refused, watching as the girl brought out a wad of cash.

She handed it to him, watching smugly as he counted it out before tucking it away into his cloak.

"Let us begin."

XxX

"Listen up, kid," Juzo commanded, causing the girl to stand to attention. "They wanted me to teach you how to throw kunai and shuriken, but it's a waste of time. The only weapon you'll ever need is a sword."

Juzo looked at his sword in admiration, lost in its sharp edge before his attention was drawn to the girl who looked out of breath, trying to pull down a green shirt which was stuck over her head. Juzo sighed, pulling it down to read the kanji which said 'Kenjutsu is cool'.

"Were you wearing that when you came in?" the swordsman frowned.

The girl nodded, causing the man to shrug as he slung his own sword across his back and chucked a wooden stick in her direction. The wood hit the palm of her hand, bouncing between the two before she enveloped her arms around it and clasped it to her chest, hitting herself in the face in the process. Gripping the wood in her palm she aimed it towards him, spacing out her feet for balance.

"Dead," Juzo dead-panned, whacking his own stick on her side.

"Ow!" she shrieked, pouting as she rubbed her side. "I'm not ready."

"Hi not ready, you're dead," he grinned, smacking her on the leg.

A vein appeared on her forehead as she puffed out her cheeks, stepping forward as she brandished her mighty stick. WHACK, WHACK, WHACK.

"Dead, dead, dead."

"Stop it!" she cried, steam escaping from her ears as she stewed in her rage.

"D, E, A, D, dead," Juzo sung, intermittent between smacking her on the head.

In her fury, Aiko threw her wooden sword across the room, causing it to shatter into splinters as she curled her hands into fists.

"Well now you're super dead," Juzo laughed, brandishing his sword, his eyes widening as she brought out a piece of paper in her defence.

Juzo slashed through it, cutting it in half before bashing the child in the face once again. He grinned, his smile faltering as he noticed that she was smiling too.

"What are you so happy about?" he frowned, watching as she held up a paper note that was torn into two pieces.

It was… money?

Juzo's eyes widened as the room was drenched in killing intent, Kakuzu rising like a demon from the earth.

"Who dares render this note to a state of worthlessness?" Kakuzu demanded, snatching up the two halves of the note as Juzo sweated.

"It was hmmm," Aiko announced, cutting off as a hand clamped over her mouth, the swordsman whispering into her ear before releasing her. "It was your partner."

"So be it," Kakuzu growled, disappearing before their very eyes.

Aiko tilted her head, listening to the intense sounds of battle before there was a squelch and a faint dripping sound.

"Great, now we've got to find him a new partner," Juzo sighed, looking to his blank-faced student. "You okay, kid? Kid?"

Juzo leaned forward, panic setting in when he realised he would have to explain to Pain and Konan how he traumatised the kid. WHACK. Juzo fell over, clutching the space between his legs as he rolled around on the floor.

"Dead," Aiko chirped happily, spinning the wooden stick in her hands as she skipped from the room.

XxX

"Tiger," Orochimaru barked, his eyes narrowed on Aiko's hand sign before calling out another. "Ox."

"You're an ox, Jiraffe-san" Juzo called out, sticking his head out from nowhere before disappearing once again.

Aiko let out a girlish giggle, dropping her face as Orochimaru checked for chakra strings attached to her fingers.

"I suppose that will do for basic techniques," Orochimaru declared, the girls blue eyes lighting up as she leaned forward in anticipation. "The first jutsu you shall learn is a simple one - a mere forty-four hand signs."

"F-forty-four," Aiko stammered. "Orochimaru-sensei, that's too hard!"

"I am not disgracing myself by showing you such lowly jutsu," the man sneered.

Aiko puffed up her cheeks, her grin widening as she schemed.

"You forgot how to do easy jutsu, didn't you?" she giggled, placing a hand over her mouth.

"Of course I didn't! I aspire to master all jutsu, even those used by a pitiful genin."

"You forgot, you can't do it," Aiko sang.

Aiko watched carefully as Orochimaru performed the ram-snake-tiger hand signs, eyes widening gleefully as he split into three clones, all three of them crossing their arms.

"How is that for easy jutsu?" he announced, smug.

"Is that the only one you can remember?" Aiko dead-panned.

Orochimaru let out a hiss, his hands flying through hand seals which Aiko struggled to keep up with as she furiously tried to write down as many of the jutsu as she could.

When Sasori came to take over, he glanced in the room, his eyes narrowing through Hiruko as he came across the scene. Aiko was passed out on the floor, her eyes swirling as her writing hand twitched. Before her, one hundred Orochimaru clones were spread throughout the training ground, many flying through rapid hand seals, while the others performed basic jutsu. Some were hiding behind coloured sheets, while others substituted for objects around the room. One was even creeping up on his own clone, fingers poised in some sort of hand sign as he shoved them up the clones…

Sasori left.

XxX

Konan sat in the Akatsuki base, her eyes pinned on terrain maps as she hesitantly held chopsticks to her mouth. Behind her, Aiko came running through, launching herself over the sofa and peeking out hesitantly.

"No shoes on the furniture, Aiko," Konan called out, her eyes never leaving the maps.

Konan heard a slight huff before two shoes were thrown across the room.

"Where is she, that little brat?" Sasori raged, storming into the base, his eyes flicking to the two child size sandals.

Aiko disguised herself behind a tarp that matched the stone walls of their base, seemingly blending into the background.

"Do you think that trick will work with me, you little welp?" Sasori barked, appearing behind the girl and enveloping her within ropes, launched from his puppets mechanism.

As Hiruko dragged the girl away, Aiko struggled, freeing her hands from the binding to perform the rope escape jutsu. Sasori sneered from within his puppet, launching senbon at her before she split herself into three and ran down the halls, cackling echoing off the walls of each direction.

"Come back here, brat, before I teach you something you'll regret!"

Sasori took off after her, leaving behind one rather proud mother.

XxX

Aiko looked towards Kakuzu's new partner, shoving a paper doll in his hand which had a red cross through it.

"Oh-ho, so I see I've finally made this wall of yours," the man smirked, looking down at the doll in his hand with a frown. "It doesn't really look like me, does it?"

"It's not supposed to be you. It's Kakuzu's partner," she explained merrily.

"And what do you mean by that?" the man frowned.

"It means you'll probably die soon," the girl chirped, giving the man a slight shrug.

_A/N: Ahh, this has been great, thank you for the reviews and follows! Going over some of the later chapters I've been doubting how funny/good they are recently, so if anyone is at all interested in pre-reading this story that would be awesome! I have no idea if it got a bit too focussed on the storyline or I've just read it too much _ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	3. Chapter 3 - Fort Aiko

**Chapter Three - Fort Aiko**

"KID," Juzo's voice boomed throughout the base, his usually laid back demeanor missing. "Were you using my sword… to build a fort?"

Juzo pointed a single finger at Aiko, killing intent leaking from his body.

"No," the girl denied, laughing nervously as she clutched what was evidently the swordsman's prized sword behind her back.

"Alright, brat, I've gotten more wood, now hurry up and use that sword to cut along the lines I've drawn," Sasori instructed, making his puppet drop the wood on the floor whilst ignoring the girl's signal to stop talking.

Aiko squeaked as the sword was tugged out of her grip, Juzo giving the puppet master an eerie glare.

"Why are you helping her?" Juzo sneered.

"I'm not watching a student of mine construct something so pitiful," he announced, watching as the swordsman stalked away muttering about 'going to kill people to sharpen his sword'.

Sasori's eyes were drawn as his student tried to creep away.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"We need something to cut the wood, so I'm gonna go and get Orochimaru-sensei's sword," she explained, skipping off down the hall to where the Sannin currently dwelled.

XxX

"For the last time, I do not wish to aid in your construction of a fort," the man spat, his attention on his test subject before him.

"I don't want you to," Aiko huffed, peeking from behind her lavender hair to set her eyes on the Sannin's mouth which was down-turned with concentration. "Can I borrow something?"

"Anything if it will make you go away quicker. Can't you see I'm working," the man complained, indicating the test subject who looked at her with hatred in his eyes.

With a nod, Aiko launched herself at the man, finding herself caught in his grasp by her wrist and dangling in front of him. She swung her hand out, the Sannin's eyes widening as she bypassed what he expected her to target and stuck her hand in his mouth.

"Where is it… that sword," she muttered, causing the snake to raise an eyebrow as he summoned the sword, feeling the hilt emerge from his gullet as she pulled it out like the sword in the stone.

With a firm grasp on the sword of Kusanagi, Aiko skipped away, stalling only to wipe her saliva covered hand onto her t-shirt. Orochimaru turned his attention back to his test subject with a sigh, grinning when he saw the terror in his subject's eyes.

XxX

Aiko leaned back, watching as the paper butterfly she had constructed flew around her line of vision.

"If that thing flies anywhere near this fort I will gouge your eyes out," Sasori warned, causing her to snatch the butterfly from the air.

Lifting her head, her eyes widened as she looked towards the completed fort. It was covered in tarps of multiple colours, and surrounded by spiky wire and pikes to keep away invaders. Aiko's jaw dropped open, noticing the 360 degree balcony around the entire structure.

"It's beautiful," she breathed, her eyes watering slightly.

"It is art," Sasori stated, seemingly pleased with himself.

Aiko moved forward, squealing as a senbon was launched from the battlements, almost impaling itself in her arm. Unfortunately, moving forward was a terrible mistake as stage two defence mechanisms engaged causing her to scream as hundreds of senbon were launched towards her small form. She substituted, leaving Hiruko in her place and breathing heavily as the puppet was impaled with several senbon.

"That's my puppet, you brat!" Sasori cursed from within.

"Why is my own fort trying to kill me?" she wept, lips wobbling as she set her eyes on the tarped covering.

She could only imagine what luxury was hidden on the inside; a room filled entirely with giant dango, furniture that was constructed of paper, but as soft as clouds, maybe a multitude of bright orange ninja weapons. Her eyes sparkled as she thought of it all. She just had to get in.

Her eyes blanched as Hiruko stared at her from behind the battlement.

"No fair," she whined, stomping her foot on the ground. "Let me in. Sasorrriiii."

"If you had just listened to my instruction during construction you could have easily bypassed the defences yourself," he scoffed.

Aiko pouted, folding her arms as she stared him down. It was time to call in the big guns. Slowly, she reached into her pocket, Sasori watching her every move as she chucked a multitude of coins onto the floor. Before they knew it, Kakuzu was there, picking up the coins as a thousand senbon launched themselves at his body.

As the senbon ran out, Aiko jumped on his back teasing him with a wad of cash to draw him forward like a carrot on a stick. Kakuzu obliged, his body tackling flame throwers, shuriken, and water cannons. Just as the target was in sight, Aiko's eyes sparkled.

"Go, Kakuzu!" she cheered, raising a single fist in the air as a faint hissing noise could be heard.

Just centimetres from the settlements, she dropped from Kakuzu's back, her limbs twitching like a bug as she attempted to move.

XxX

Five men in Akatsuki cloaks faced the impenetrable fortress that was Aiko's (cough, cough: Sasori's) fort, Hiruko still looming on the balcony. Never before had they seen such impressive trap mechanisms, each of them glaring as they were bested by a mere child's play-thing.

"Oji-saaaan, you said this wouldn't take long," Aiko huffed, having seen Pein, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Kakuzu's partner, and Orochimaru fail to gain entry.

From behind the swordsman watched, laughing at each of their failed attempts and refusing to help in honour of his dulled sword.

"Quiet Aiko, we are strategizing," Pain murmured, barely giving her a glance as they added to the blueprints they had been constructing with each failed attempt.

Aiko had tried to have a look several times, only to find herself pushed away at what was declared 'an S-rank mission'. She highly suspected they just wanted to enter the fort without her.

"Let's go, Akatsuki," Pain concluded, nodding to each of the gathered members.

Aiko lay on the floor, leaning on her elbows as they began to make their move. Once again Kakuzu was sent as the sacrificial lamb to be hit by a thousand senbon. Next up was Kakuzu's partner as he drew the water cannons' aim towards Orochimaru. His fingers flew through a number of hands seals, redirecting the water source to take out the flamethrowers. Pain himself deflected the shuriken, while Zetsu emerged from the ground, past the triggers for the paralyzing gas, a triumphant look upon half of his face whilst his other half looked annoyed. Aiko gasped, watching as his hand pulled back the coloured tarps, a flash of its inner secrets revealing itself before Zetsu found himself being smothered by the tarp itself, which cut off his airway.

"Aww," Aiko sighed, lowering her blue eyes in disappointment.

"What's going on, Aiko?" Konan inquired, her grey eyes fixed on the group of men who were arguing amongst themselves.

"Sasori-sensei helped me build a fort, but now I can't get in," she whined, her lip quivering slightly.

"Don't worry, Aiko," Konan smiled, picking her up in her arms. "I'll get you in."

"You will?"

"Mm-hmm."

Aiko snuggled into her mother's side, giggling gleefully as her mother gave her a slight nod as they burst into paper, weaving in and out of senbon and shuriken alike. Great waves of paper formed their shields as the elementals descended onto them. Finally, Konan twitched her hand to wrap paper around the gas canisters, thereby preventing it from leaking out. Before them a paper clone tugged at the curtains, causing them to twitch and attack the clones as Konan swept into the fortress.

"SASORI-SENSEI! There's nothing in here!" Aiko growled, causing the Akatsuki members to stall when they realised her voice came from deep within the fort.

"How did…"

"What the…"

"Well why would there be?" questioned Hiruko, turning as the girl sprang out to the balcony, clutching her fists.

The Akatsuki members exchanged looks as they watched the girl buzz around the puppet like a fly, hitting out with both legs and arms as she took out her inner rage.

"This never happened," Pain declared, fearing for Akatsuki's reputation.

"Agreed," declared the men, fearing for their own.

* * *

_A/N: Such a good week - got through the new season of Dragon Prince in a day. If you haven't watched it go watch it right now you fool! If you have watched it - your reward is what I imagine would of happened if Aiko had gotten her way and was allowed to go to the Academy:_

Akatsuki's Academy Omake (Part I)

"Hello," Aiko chirped, bowing before the class that looked at her with a combination of intrigue, hesitancy and no expression at all if they were asleep. "My name is Aiko, pleased to meet you!"

"Welcome, Aiko," Iruka-sensei beamed at his prospective student. "Since you're new here, why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?"

Aiko tilted her head to the side, pondering the question.

"Well, I live in a big cave in a mountainside with my okaa-san and oji-san, and they're part of this huge group of shinobi who are all my friends," Aiko revealed gleefully, narrowing her eyes at the kids who started giggling about the fact she lived in a cave.

"Then you must know a lot about being a shinobi," Iruka smiled, crinkling his eyes up slightly.

"Yeah, yeah. I do," she beamed. "They tell me lots of important things that are really important to a shinobi."

"Really? Well maybe you could share some of them with the class."

"Ok!" Aiko agreed, rubbing her chin slightly. "There sure are a lot of them, but the main things include making sure you know lots of jutsu, keeping your weapons sharp, world domination, one of my friends even thinks art is really important to a shinobi!"

Iruka stalled slightly, "what did you say?"

"I know art is pretty strange," the girl concluded, her nose wriggling slightly, "but if you saw one of his puppet shows you would understand."

"Well then, if you'd like to take a seat we can begin," Iruka directed, indicating a bunch of empty seats as he shook his head at what was obviously a misunderstanding.

Aiko nodded, skipping up the steps to take a seat next to a boy with eager azule eyes and bright sunshine yellow hair.

"Hi, I'm Naruto," the boy whispered.

"Aiko," she beamed, turning her attention back to Sensei.

"Is it true you know lots of shinobi?"

"Uh-hu and they're all super powerful," Aiko boasted proudly.

"Chu, bet they're not as powerful as the Uchiha," a black haired boy butted in.

"Bet they are. I've never heard of Uchiha," Aiko huffed, causing the boy's eyes to pop out, "but loads of people recognise my friends on site and are so impressed with their strength that they run away!"

"As if," the boy grunted, turning away.

"Alright class, now it's time for a pop quiz that reviews everything we've learnt so far," Iruka announced to a crowd full of groans. "Aiko, don't worry if you don't know anything - we'll just use it as an opportunity to gage your level."

Aiko nodded, picking up her bright orange writing utensil with eager anticipation.


	4. Chapter 4 - First Crush

_A/N: Sorry it's late - I got lost on the path of life *snickers*._

**Chapter Four - First Crush**

The twang of metal rang out in the base as two swords clashed. Aiko bared her teeth, causing the swordsman to let out a low chuckle as she shushinned behind Juzo, grunting as her sword was blocked by his own which he had angled over his back without turning around. Aiko span, using the awkward angle of the swordsman's arm against him as she aimed for his elbow, only to find herself cut by the, thankfully, dulled blade.

"Dead," Juzo dead-panned, enjoying the pitiful attempt at killing intent the kid was throwing out.

"Ahhhh!" Aiko screamed, charging at him sword raised.

Juzo grinned, wondering what manner of humiliation he could put the kid through today.

XxX

Pain entered the training room, knowing that the swordsman had been sparring with Aiko, a quiet young boy following him. Upon opening the door, Pain blinked, taking in the wriggling girl as she dangled from the wall, two swords pierced into the sleeves of her shirt so that she hung there like a picture frame.

"Juzo," Pain murmured, drawing the swordsman's attention from taunting the eight year old.

"So this is him? My new partner?" Juzo questioned, eyeing up the raven-haired teen.

Behind him, Aiko stopped thrashing, trying to peek her head out over the tall shinobi's form, hoping to see who it was.

"Uchiha Itachi, pleasure to meet you," the boy murmured, bowing to his superior.

"See that, kid, that's how you should treat your elders," Juzo taunted, pulling the two swords that were embedded into the wall thereby causing the girl to drop to the floor. "If I'm getting stuck with another snot-nosed kid, it's at least a relief this one has manners."

"No fair, oji-san. Why can't I be Juzo's partner? What's so great about this…"

The girl cut off as her blue eyes widened, a faint blush creeping up on her cheeks as she stared into the onyx eyes of the older boy.

"Looks like you have yourself a problem, Pain-sama," Juzo chuckled, his sharp teeth coming into sight as he looked between the two children.

"What do you mean?" the orange-haired man asked in monotone.

"Our little Aiko just got her first crush."

The swordsman expected some sort of reaction. Something, anything from their leader. However, it seemed that the leader was as calm and collected as he had always been. Little did Juzo know that far away, a certain red-haired shinobi was crawling from the rubble of his hideout, a vein popping on his forehead. The only crush he wanted to be associated with his little Aiko was the crushed bones of their enemies. However, Nagato knew his little Aiko, and if there was something that could stop her growing infatuation with this boy, it would be her pride.

"Itachi, it is important that we gauge your abilities as a shinobi," their leader spoke after a brief interval of silence. "I wish for you to spar."

"Of course," Itachi obliged, walking into the sparring ring without complaint.

"Don't worry, kid, I'll try not to kill your boyfriend," Juzo teased, poking her in the ribs.

"No," their leader protested. "You will have a much better understanding of his ability if you observe, Juzo. Aiko will be fighting the Uchiha."

"Her?"

"Me?" Aiko squeaked, the blush on her cheeks growing furiously.

"Perhaps if you perform admirably, we may reconsider your requested membership."

From the rubble, Nagato applauded his cleverness. The girl had no chance of defeating a child five years her elder, who had achieved the status of ANBU and just obliterated the entirety of an elite clan. Inevitably, she would lose, and when she did she would curse his entire existence.

"Hai," the girl nodded, her eyes flicking between her oji-san to the boy before taking her place in front of him, her eyes focussed on the task at hand.

The two sized each other up, a faint pinkness growing in Aiko's cheeks as their eyes looked deeply into the others. Drawing the sword strapped to her back, she ran at her opponent with a war cry, causing him to break into a flurry of crows as she striked. Next thing she knew, she was right back where she started, blinking at the boy in confusion. Her body tensed as the boy shifted slightly, his one hand taking shape with two fingers pointed upward.

Juzo burst out laughing.

"This guy, this guy," he breathed, leaning on his knees as he tried to control himself.

"What?" Aiko huffed, her face frowning as she tried to figure out what was so funny.

"That sign is a symbol acknowledging a shinobi's will to fight," Juzo smirked. "This guy is following sparring etiquette."

Aiko outright stared at the boy. Whenever any of the Akatsuki fought they had never done this before. Etiquette? She blinked, mimicking the sign with a blush. Truly, Uchiha Itachi was a gentleman, most unlike the barbarians she usually associated herself with.

"You may begin," Pain declared.

Once again Aiko mimicked her actions, drawing her sword. However, this time as she clashed with the former Konohagakure shinobi she found her sword to be blocked with a kunai. Juzo's eyes widened, impressed at his ability to block her kenjutsu. Sure, it wasn't at his standard, but she had been training with him for three years now.

The girl snarled at her opponent, eyes narrowing as she realised the beautiful onyx eyes of the boy had become a deep red, the pupil surrounded by three black tomoe. Putting all her weight into the sword, she jumped back in retreat, willing a mass of paper to cut her off from his eyesight.

The Uchiha had to acknowledge her cleverness. It was clear she was unfamiliar with the sharingan, but even so, she had wisely concluded that to be in his eyeline was not a situation she wanted to find herself in.

The boy responded by throwing multiple kunai, observing how the explosion from the paper tags did nothing to the paper she controlled. Then the paper came for him, attaching to his body as if to mummify his form. Once again, a flock of crows emerged. The girl revealed her position, causing her to become the target of his flaming shuriken technique. However, she was ready, seemingly predicting the move as she puffed out her cheeks and countered them with a torrent of water.

Aiko saw it as her opportunity, expecting him to be caught off guard. However, as she brandished her sword to cut him down, she found herself witnessing his body turn into a pool of blood. The walls turned red before her very eyes.

"Kai," she attempted, knowing it to be a genjutsu, one that was apparently much stronger than the ones she had been subjected to when learning the subject as the walls continued to ooze blood.

Nagato watched with interest as the girl's attempts to dispel the genjutsu failed, her body remaining slack. Suddenly, as Itachi moved to claim his victory, the paper ingrained with Aiko's chakra whirled around her body, attaching itself just as it had done to Itachi before.

"Kai!"

It seemed his little Aiko was not to be underestimated. To use the chakra ingrained within the paper to provide an external and powerful source of chakra to disturb her system was a truly brilliant idea. He was a proud oji-san indeed. However, as he had predicted it was too late.

Aiko barely had time to groan as she felt a presence behind her back. Turning, she blocked his kick with her hand, finding herself subjected to a number of punches. He was too fast. She fell, pinned to the ground, unable to move, with a kunai at her throat. Aiko lay there, breathing heavily as she looked up into his red eyes that faded back to onyx. He had barely broken a sweat.

She was outmatched.

Pain watched, silently smug, as her jaw clenched tightly, her face going red as her anger built up at the Uchiha. That was before Itachi stood himself up, offering a hand with two fingers once again outstretched. Caught off guard, she offered her hand in a similar manner, finding their two fingers linked in unison once he had pulled her up from the ground.

"W-what does this sign mean?" she breathed, her breath still ragged.

"It signifies recognition as comrades," Juzo scoffed, teeth bared in amusement at the whole situation.

"C-comrades," the girl parroted, hesitating slightly before bowing to the young Uchiha.

Now free of the rubble, Nagato's mouth fell open.

"Thank you for the match, Itachi-kun," Aiko blushed, her eyes shining as the stars she could see behind the boy reflected in her eyes. "I can see I have a lot to learn before I catch up to a talented shinobi such as yourself."

"Do not sell yourself short," Itachi stated, completely oblivious to the girl's infatuations. "Without these eyes I would have been caught off guard when you countered my flaming shuriken."

In truth, he had seen the absorption of his chakra as they touched his body, as well as how the girl had interacted with the paper afterwards. It was clear she had gathered some knowledge with the move, chakra nature being the most obvious explanation. Especially if the paper turned bright red. He wondered if she was aware of that fatal flaw.

"Those eyes are impressive indeed," Aiko sighed, thinking she could look into them all day long. "Evidently I've had little instruction in genjutsu and you're truly a master. Do you think... do you think that you would be able to teach me?"

Aiko's eyes dropped to the floor, uncharacteristically shy.

"Of course," Itachi agreed, nodding towards the young girl whose fighting spirit reminded him so much of his otouto.

"Come on, kid," Juzo cut in, decided their leader was getting twitchy due to the fact he hadn't yet carried out his duty. "I need to show you the ropes, starting with the base. We can talk about formations later."

"Hai, senpai," the boy agreed, following him out.

Aiko followed too, doe-eyed and completely oblivious to the killing intent that was leaking second-hand from Pain due to the chakra communicators. Far away, the masses of shinobi situated in Amegakure shuddered, finding the constant rain turn to venomous thunder, the rain drops themselves drawing blood. Each of them could barely stand upright, witnessing the mass of citizens, genin and chunin dropping from the killing intent from afar, the likes of which had never been seen before.

* * *

Akatsuki's Academy Omake 2:

Iruka picked up the final test sheet that he had slipped to the back of the pile, one that had been crafted into an origami crane. Carefully, he unfolded it, blinking at the bright orange ink it had been filled out with. Holding it out in front of him, he began to read:

_Name: Aiko_

_What is shinobi rule number 4?_

_A shinobi must always put money first._

Iruka had thought the girl wouldn't be able to answer this one considering she had just started, but the fact that she had been so close… It was just a shame she must have misheard the saying. Carefully he crossed out the word 'money' and replaced it with 'the mission'.

_Name three subtypes of bukijutsu._

_Kenjutsu is the only one that matters according to Sensei._

Iruka gave the answer a single tick and two crosses, realising why the girl's shuriken aim had been terrible during shurikenjutsu training. He made a mental note for later, believing he should provide her with extra help next class.

_Give three considerations of obtaining edible plants in a foreign area._

_Poisonous, hiding signs of foraging, and making sure it's not spying on you._

Iruka blinked at that last one. Maybe the girl was scared of plants? Or did she mean that foliage was a good way for shinobi to hide themselves? He nodded. Of course that was what she meant. What else could it be? Carefully, he gave her three ticks.

_Give an example of a basic ninjutsu. Bonus marks will be awarded for additional information given about performing the ninjutsu._

_Water Style: Water Dragon Missile_

_Hand seals include ox, monkey, hare, rat, boar, bird, ox, horse, bird, rat…_

Iruka's eyes bulged as he read the long list of a total of forty-four hand signs, not knowing himself if they were even correct.

_Jutsu forms a water dragon that crashes into the enemy. Sensei says it's super simple, but so far I've only managed to generate a dragon as big as my arm. I've named him Mushu and I laugh when he gets my Sensei all wet._

He could hardly believe a girl just starting the Academy had knowledge of such jutsu, let alone perform it. Before deciding on a mark he would have to check his student's answer out. Finally, his eyes drifted to the fifth and final question.

_Below is a map indicating the Five Great Shinobi Countries. Label each country, indicating the name of the residing Shinobi Village and their leader._

Iruka's eyes drifted over the labelling of the five largest countries, ticking the correct labelling of Earth, Fire, Lightning, and Wind. Frowning, he crossed through the labelling of the Land of Water as the '_Land of Losers_'. He wondered where the girl had picked that up from. A family grudge, perhaps? It wasn't uncommon. Again, he ticked the names of each village, finding no problems. Finally, he rested his eyes on what was supposed to be the naming of each village's Kage. The girl had listed 'Oji-san' on all of them.

Iruka blinked, recalling the misunderstanding of her words this morning. World domination…

Iruka burst out laughing. There was no way. He truly was overworked if he believed that this small girl's oji-san, whomever he may be, could defeat an entire Shinobi Village, let alone five of them. Letting out a final chuckle, Iruka made his way out of the classroom, hoping to clarify the answer to question four without a care in the world.


	5. Chapter 5 - A String of Bad Luck

**Chapter Five - A String of Bad Luck**

Aiko stuck her tongue out in concentration, crafting the first paper doll she had made since Orochimaru had joined them. However, unlike five years ago, this one was not childish scribbles. This was the first of the dolls to have distinct limbs instead of just a cloak. Each defining feature of Uchiha Itachi was clearly outlined including, but not limited to, his soft raven bangs, Leaf hitai-ate, onyx eyes, and distinct tear-troughs. Lifting it she admired her handiwork, rage sparking as it was ripped from her hands.

"Ooh, look kid-kun," Juzo teased, causing the girl to snarl. "I was wondering when kid-chan was going to add you to her little collection."

Aiko yanked the paper from his grasp using her jutsu, smirking when the swordsman huffed, surprised she had managed to trump him. She raised her eyes to Itachi, clutching the paper doll with a bright red hue on her cheeks.

"Th-this is for you, Itachi-kun," she held it out to him, blushing furiously. "I make them for all the members."

"Thank you," Itachi murmured, admiring the doll before tucking it away safely into his cloak.

"Yeah, right," Juzo snorted. "Mine looks like someone sliced my mouth open and Kubikiribocho is a damn twig!"

"Don't get angry because I captured your eternal memory with my art," Aiko muttered under her breath.

"What did you say?" Juzo roared, angered only due to the insult of his prized sword. "Looks like it's time for me to smack some respect into you. Again."

Itachi only courteously moved out of the way, recognising this as a regular ritual between the two. Aiko drew the sword from her back while Juzo exchanged his own for a regular sword. He watched neutrally as they clashed, amused by their back and forth chatter.

"Stab my eyes out, kid-chan. I'd rather be blind than watch the embarrassment that's your kenjutsu," Juzo dead-panned, smirking as he dodged a swipe at his chest.

"You know what they say; a student is only as good as their Sensei," she threw back, her eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Ah, I forget, even with a sword you wouldn't be able to reach," Juzo teased.

"Didn't you hear, Juzo? Kami lets people grow until they're perfect. Guess that's why you're still going."

"Height jokes? I'd never thought you'd stoop so low, but I suppose you're already there."

"What?" Aiko yelled. "I can't hear you all the way up there!"

"I believe you two have made your point," Itachi murmured, causing the two to stall and look at him. "It may be wise to stop before you resemble dango."

Blue eyes met dark gray pin-points before Itachi was confronted with the girlish giggles of Aiko as she collapsed on the floor, clutching her stomach. Juzo himself let out a raspy chuckle.

"You're hilarious, Itachi-kun. Our point," Aiko choked, turning red in the face as she pounded herself in the chest, trying not to die.

Itachi only blinked at the girl.

"You have no idea why we're laughing, do you?" Juzo smirked, resting the tip of the sword on his shoulder.

Next thing he knew, Juzo felt a presence come at him as the last second, his eyes widening as his head parried back, the tip of her sword striking his hitai-ate with a clang and a few black hairs falling to the ground. His leg kicked out automatically, sending the kid flying back. He only restarted breathing once Itachi had Aiko in his arms, having prevented her from hitting the wall.

Aiko looked up into his onyx eyes, blushing furiously as she felt his warm embrace. She could just picture herself nuzzling up in his arms, his monotone voice declaring his love for her. They would marry, his younger brother as witness, most likely tied up since he apparently wanted to kill him. As a wedding present, Oji-san would gift Konohagakure to them and they would either watch it burn, or rule over it with an iron fist. Aiko could never quite figure out which Itachi would prefer.

Juzo looked at the blank faced girl, her blue eyes far away as she drooled from her mouth.

"I've killed her," Juzo stated.

For a second he contemplated how long her could survive on the run from Pain.

"Thank Kami," the girl whispered, her voice weak. "She put me back in this world just to prove you wrong."

Aiko laughed at her own joke, cutting off as her laughter turned to agonising pain.

XxX

In the brief second Juzo had contemplated how long he would survive on the run from Pain, he had come to the conclusion that he would be able to hide out for a week in the place they would least suspect; the Land of Losers. However, he now realised he wouldn't last five minutes when Konan saw her daughter being attended by Orochimaru for two broken ribs.

"What happened, Aiko?"

Juzo sweated it out, trying to maintain his composure in front of the terrifying kunoichi.

"I told the funniest joke, okaa-san," Aiko grinned. "So funny I literally cracked a rib."

Orochimaru scolded her as she began to wheezily laugh again, clutching her sides in pain.

"This is all your fault," Konan growled, turning to Juzo.

Juzo's life flashed before him. It turned out that mothers can indeed defy logic when it came to their children.

"Clearly she mimics you, cracking out jokes all the time."

Juzo let out a viable breath of relief.

"Ahh, okaa-san," Aiko wheezed. "Please stop with the jokes. I'm going to pass out."

"Perhaps you could tell us what really happened, Itachi," Pain asked, his swirling eyes meeting his onyx ones with great suspicion. "You were the one to bring her in."

"Who knows?" Orochimaru schemed, his grin malicious as he looked to the Uchiha with eerie desire. "The injuries are indicative of being sustained from her height, at a brilliant speed, with impressive aim that would require beyond-human precision."

All Nagato saw was red, Orochimaru's words registering in his head as 'the injuries are indicative of being sustained from Itachi's height, at Itachi's speed, Uchiha Itachi did it, so kill him!"

His orange-haired path twitched, as Aiko quivered in fear at the look in her mother's face.

"No training," she ordered, cutting off her daughter's whine with a raised voice, "for a month."

"A whole month?" she pouted, folding her arms.

"It will take you that long to recover. Perhaps you should have thought about that before you went and made 'such a funny joke'," Konan mimicked, making her innocent words sound like the promise of death.

XxX

Itachi had never had such a run of bad luck. In the beginning he had merely shrugged off the wild beast that had attacked him on a mission almost a month ago. The beast had been easily dispatched by himself and he had deemed it a seemingly random occurrence. However, he couldn't help but consider the fact that he had been cursed as he thought over the numerous near-death experiences that had occurred since.

There were several almost-troublesome incidents which included him being pushed off a cliff on a mission. He had sensed not a single presence behind him, and had almost convinced himself that an unknown force had knocked him off the edge. That prospect was completely ridiculous though.

Even his missions from Pain-sama were tainted. He had been tasked with eliminating several Iwagakure shinobi, only to find that his ability to do ninjutsu had become corrupt. His enemy had looked as confused as he would have been (if he showed any expression). He, however, had merely reasoned it was due to his sickness taking a turn for the worst, ultimately having him rely upon his taijutsu and shurikenjutsu to eliminate the ten enemies before him.

Then there was the mission where he had been sent to investigate a cave off Amagakure. It had been riddled with traps and obscure weapons he had never even heard of. He hadn't even been able to acquire the 'all important purpose of his mission' that Pain-sama had assured him would make itself known once he made his way to the cave. He still didn't know what he had meant.

However, the worst incident of all had been a mere two hours ago. He had been sent on the mission alone, as usual since Pain-sama had explained they were overwhelmed with priority missions this last month. He had been on his way to a destination he had never reached when he stumbled upon two squads of ANBU. Usually, this wouldn't have been a problem, but he knew them all. Had lead them all as their captain. The ANBU were all from Konohagakure, and they were looking for vengeance.

He still felt guilty, making sure Konohagakure was all the more vulnerable for taking two squads of ANBU out of action as they took the time to recover. Slowly making his way back to the base, thoroughly exhausted, he was caught off guard as a large bodied shinobi scooped him up by the neck. He expected to be choked, but instead a slimy pink tendril entered his mouth causing a giant's face bathed in purple flame to appear before him.

"Did you have any interest in dating Aiko?"

"No," Itachi spluttered, all the while thinking of his otouto.

He would fail him if he died here, yet there was nothing he could do as his body remained completely paralysed.

"What is your relationship to her?"

"I suppose a comrade would be most accurate," Itachi revealed, knowing he had to keep the girl at arm's length despite her sweet nature.

She was growing up around a group of nuke-nin after all. The likelihood was that she would grow up allying her goals to theirs.

"Then you have no romantic inclinations towards her?"

"No, and I never will."

His mission was to die at the hands of his otouto. He could not allow himself such attachments when he was destined to part from this world. There was a brief pause as the pink tendril removed itself from his mouth, dropping him and leaving himself more exhausted than he had ever been before.

XxX

"Let me in," Aiko demanded, sneering at Kakuzu's partner who had been tasked with keeping her away from the medical room.

"What you gonna do to get past me, little girl?" the man challenged, snickering when she drew her sword. "Give me a paper cut?"

It didn't cross his mind for a second that she would dare challenge an S-class nuke-nin such as himself, which is why his eyes widened when she buried the blade straight through his foot. He back-handed the girl, eyes narrowing as she turned her face back to him, a red welt already appearing on her cheek.

"You shouldn't have done that," she smirked, amusement dancing in her eyes.

There was a simultaneous noise of crushed bones and pulverised muscle as Kakuzu tore the heart from the man's chest with his threads, a small drop of blood running from his mouth before he hit the floor.

"Told you you'd be dead soon," she taunted, giving Kakuzu a nod. "Most profitable Kakuzu-sensei. With this new heart, I expect your bounty collecting ability will be much faster."

"Not if Pain-sama becomes angry that I have disposed of another partner," the miser stated, blinking at the girl with his green irises.

"Then how about you make sure that nobody finds out about that," she offered, pointing to the hole in his foot, "and I'll make sure that oji-san knows who gave me this."

She pointed her now inflamed cheek. Kakuzu nodded, seeing this as the most profitable path.

"Very well," he nodded, scooping up the body and placing it in a scroll for bounty collection.

It didn't take very long for Aiko to carry out her end of the bargain as she waltzed into the medical room.

Orochimaru scoffed. He had commanded the idiot outside to refuse anyone to enter, hoping that as soon as their leader left he could steal the now vulnerable Uchiha away without them noticing long enough for him to make the switch.

"Aiko, what happened to your cheek?" the orange-haired shinobi pounced on the girl, tilting her head upwards for a better look.

"Kakuzu's partner did it," the girl shrugged, making her way over to Itachi's side to hold his hand.

"Unacceptable," Orochimaru claimed, turning to Pain. "You should punish him severely. I will watch over Itachi."

"No need. He's already dead."

"Very good." Orochimaru glared at the girl, his snake slitted eyes narrowing as he lowered his voice to address Pain directly. "Perhaps you should remove the girl. I have seen it many times. Waking from the near-death experience and seeing someone at their side. It instigates… romantic tendencies."

Yes, Orochimaru would still claim his prize, for nothing could convince their leader otherwise that Uchiha Itachi had nothing but dishonourable intentions with his precious Aiko.

"No need, Orochimaru. It is nothing but an unrequited crush."

It seemed that Orochimaru was wrong. He almost hissed in his displeasure at such a rare event. Time was running out. It was time he began to prepare to confront the young Uchiha.


	6. Chapter 6 - The Idiot

**Chapter Six - The Idiot**

Konan looked towards Aiko, feeling as if the girl was unusually sullen today as she watched an origami butterfly fly around by her will.

"What is wrong, Aiko?" Konan asked, looking at her daughter with soft grey eyes.

"Okaa-san… what was oto-san like?"

Konan let out a sigh, knowing this question would one day come.

"Your oto-san never failed to make me laugh," Konan smiled, her eyes downturned as she recalled bitter-sweet memories. "He was a bit of an idiot…"

Aiko blinked, not expecting that from the man who oji-san revered above all else.

"...but he was a lovable idiot. He established the members of Akatsuki himself, winning over each and every member with his fierce determination and unfaltering loyalty."

"Oji-san always tells me about his actions as a noble leader, but no one ever told me he was an idiot," she sighed. "I feel like I hardly know him at all."

"You know him more than you think," Konan murmured, her hand outstretched as she reached out to her daughter, rising from her seat. "Come, Aiko."

"Where are we going?" the girl inquired, curiosity in her eyes as she took her okaa-san's hand.

"To meet your oto-san."

XxX

"What are you doing, okaa-san?" Aiko frowned, squinting at her mother as she reached out to something propped up on the wall.

Aiko couldn't help but be freaked out by the place, looking around at the derelict building. Vines were flowing in from a gigantic hole in the roof. Konan turned to her, holding out a red plaque which she took with confusion.

"This was your fathers. Our Sensei growing up developed a scheme where if we were out and 'hopping' about, we would have to put it on the white side," the girl mouthed 'hopping', her face scrunched up as her mother explained the system to her, "while if we were here, we would place it on the red side."

There was a brief pause as Konan took in her daughter's pondering expression.

"You don't get it."

"I so do! Kinda…" she pouted, crossing her arms with a huff.

Konan just thanked Kami her child had intelligence where it mattered. Mainly for keeping herself alive in battle. As the girl considered the plaque, carefully turning it over to the white side, she gasped, looking at it in pure horror.

"Eh? My dad looked like a frog!?" she exclaimed, freaking out at the wild fantasies running through her head. "Please don't tell me I'm under a transformation jutsu so that I look normal."

"He did _not_ look like a frog," Konan countered, shaking her head.

Yes, truly she was her oto-san's child.

Aiko let out a physical breath of relief.

"Thank Kami. I don't know what I would do if I was some sort of weird-looking frog hybrid," Aiko shuddered.

_In the Land of Fire, a man shamelessly peeking through a hole in the wall of the ladies bathing suite sneezed, rubbing his nose as he wondered what young and beautiful lady had brought him up. Although, he couldn't quite shake the feeling that he should be offended. Looking up, he let out a nervous giggle, taking in the many women that had surrounded him, each of them red faced and cracking their knuckles as they prepared to beat him to a pulp. _

"So what did he look like?"

Konan gave her daughter a rare smile, chucking something in her direction, seemingly out of nowhere. Aiko blinked, holding up the bundle of cloth in pure horror. This… this was not happening. Where the hell had her mother even gotten this abomination from? Had she been carrying it with her this entire time?

"Put that on, and I'll show you exactly what he looked like."

While Aiko got changed, Konan made her way around the small hut, recalling fond memories. At a resigned huff, she turned around to take in her daughter's new look.

"If you take pictures, I'll never forgive you," Aiko muttered, arms crossed.

Aiko couldn't believe what humiliation she would put herself through in order to get to know her father, but it seemed that donning a frog suit was one of them. It was bright pink too. She could only imagine what the others would say if they saw her in this pitiful state, especially a certain swordsman.

_On mission in the Land of Lightning, Juzo felt as if he should be cracking jokes, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. It wasn't his style to do it out on mission. His eyes narrowed on the enemy, blaming them for the fact that he was evidently missing an opportunity to tease someone mercilessly. He almost felt sorry for them, for his sword would indeed be well sharpened after he slaughtered them all for the injustice._

"You look exactly like him," Konan admitted, finding it painful to look at her daughter, her bright blue eyes gazing up at her mother. "Your eyes, as well as your smile."

Aiko sucked in her breath, flashing through hand signs for a small water jutsu, gazing into the rippled image of herself within the puddle she had created. So this was what okaa-san had meant.

"I see him in you everyday. Your sense of humour, your unrivalled will to grow stronger, even in your inability to give up in achieving your goals," Konan admitted, tapping the girl on the nose. "I bandage you up from training just as much as I did for him."

"When did you realise that you loved him?" she asked quietly, feeling greedy for making her mother recall such pain for her own benefit.

"Since the beginning. He saved my life, and although he thought himself a charmer like our Sensei, it wasn't until I kissed him that he realised."

"The idiot," Aiko giggled, holding a hand over her mouth. "Do I take after him in that too?"

"Thankfully not," Konan stated in relief. "It seems you know what you want when it comes to love, and like me, you are patient in waiting for a man to realise what is right in front of him."

Aiko blushed, rubbing the back of her neck as she thought of a certain raven-haired boy.

"Could you… could you tell me some stories about when he made you laugh?"

"There are so many…" Konan shook her head. "Even as kids he was an idiot. He thought your oji-san's name was Tiny for weeks. Only because he had completely forgotten he was talking about the dog when he asked for his name."

"Tiny?" Aiko snorted, suddenly very excited for the next time she saw her oji-san.

"Then there was the time our Sensei was teaching us to be still like frogs," Aiko pulled a face, feeling lucky that her Senseis' didn't have a weird obsession like frogs. "Of course, Yahiko had to choose a place where there was an ants nest to undertake the activity. He stood there for five whole minutes before he screamed, kicked off his trousers right in front of us, and ran into a nearby stream."

"Pfft," Aiko giggled, picturing the scene in her head.

"Then there was the time we learnt tree-walking…"

Aiko didn't know how long they were there, exchanging stories of both her oto-san and herself as they went through shinobi training. Konan was glad she had done this. The smile on her child's face was reward enough.

XxX

"Aiko, you're back," her orange-haired guardian pointed out as the girl hugged him.

Withdrawing she smiled up at the man, grinning as he looked at her with swirling eyes.

"You never told me ota-san was an idiot, oji-san," the girl teased.

"He wasn't," Pain countered, wondering who had been sullying the name of his best friend.

"Yeah right," she snickered. "Tiny."

Nagato gaped as if he had been taken back… all those years ago to when he had first met the boy that would become one of his best friends.

"No, that was the…" he hesitated, realising he had admitted to her ota-san's foolishness. Silently, he sent up an apology to the beyond as Aiko smirked at him, "dog."

* * *

**A String of Bad Luck: Pain's POV**

Pain had been trying to kill the boy for a month now. Rather unsuccessfully, he might add. Even with the powers bestowed upon him, he was thoroughly reminded that he was not the God everyone believed him to be, but a mere man who was given a great power to help him bestow peace upon the world.

He wondered if, deep… deep, deep, deep down he didn't want to kill the boy. However, the fact stood that Aiko had developed a clear infatuation with the Uchiha and had somehow gotten hurt. Those things were clearly linked, just like the eyes between his Path bodies.

So he had used every morsel of his power to get the boy mauled by a wild animal of his making, pushed him off a cliff, even sent him into groups of enemy shinobi both alone and disadvantaged. However, the boy had point blank refused to die, despite the odds, making Nagato wonder what higher forces declared that this boy would not die before his time.

His last resort had been the King of Hell's interrogation. Finally, his mind had been put at rest as the boy claimed his indifference towards Aiko, merely claiming comradeship. The fact he had survived had sealed his fate. He had survived and Nagato came to realise that the boy was not all bad.

Clearly the higher forces favoured the boy and he always worked hard to help achieve the peace he desired. In fact, Nagato was rather fond of him now. Especially since he woke from his unconscious state and had agreed that the incident never happened. He saw it as a mere test of his trustworthiness, never to be brought up again.

Of course the feeling would always linger, as they so sadly did in human nature, but Nagato was confident the loyal swordsman would keep him in check. Nevertheless, he felt rather proud of how he had dealt with the situation, feeling that Yahiko would be proud of his actions.


	7. Chapter 7 - One Big Joke

**Chapter Seven - A Swordsman, a Snake and a Shark walk into a bar (One Big Joke)**

Aiko had made the mistake of asking Orochimaru to spar with her in kenjutsu since Juzo was away on a mission. He was the only other Akatsuki member skilled in the form, however she was pretty sure the Sannin was cheating by using the Sword of Kusanagi. The blade could cut through damn near everything for Kami's sake! So there she was, dancing around like a leaf in the wind, knowing that the only thing she could do was target his body whilst making sure her trusty sword never touched his blade.

To say it was difficult was the understatement of the century. Especially when Orochimaru twisted and stretched his body in unnatural ways when she would have made the hit on literally anyone else in existence. Therefore when she didn't see the block the cheating Sannin made and her sword shattered into pieces she was hardly surprised. Looking at it wistfully she gathering up the pieces on the floor carefully before cursing when she cut her finger.

"Serves you right for picking up the pieces of a blade with your bare hands," the man scoffed as she stuck her finger in her mouth.

"That was the first sword Juzo gave to me," she admitted, looking down at the broken fragments in mourning.

"It's just a sword. Get a new one," Orochimaru told her, completely unsympathetic as he held his own sword out for her to admire. "Perhaps one as legendary as mine."

"Orochimaru-sensei," Aiko gasped, hand twitching towards the sword held out to her. "Are you giving me your sword?"

"No," the Sannin snickered, poofing away and causing small snakes to rain down on her.

She really hated when he did that. Especially when she had to pick up all the snakes afterwards. What she hated even more was the Sannin getting her hopes up.

"Stupid, jiraffe-san," she muttered, grabbing a snake and flashing her killing intent as it hissed at her. "I'll get your sword some day."

XxX

Aiko found herself staring up at the ceiling, flat on her back as she focussed on controlling the flurry of paper flying above her head. She couldn't quite get them to take the form of a sword, at least not in the way she wanted. It was a lot more difficult than crafting kunai and shuriken, which were completely useless to her. Sure, she could throw a shuriken a lot better now thanks to Itachi's intervention, but she downright refused to pick up a kunai.

It just wasn't her style.

She sighed, plucking out a piece of paper from the air and writing a note to her mother requesting her expertise. She folded it up, held it out and commanded it to find her mother. Her blue eyes watched it fly away, only to see another butterfly take its place. This time it was red, and as it landed on her outstretched finger she cracked a smile. She knew that fire-natured chakra anywhere and soon enough Itachi approached her with impassive eyes.

"Thank Kami you're back, Itachi-kun," she brightened, lifting up her head to look at him. "Where's Juzo? He owes me a new sword since he took so long on his mission. I ended up challenging Orochimaru to a spar and he broke mine."

"Aiko, there is something I need to tell you…" Itachi murmured, more stoic than usual.

"What is it, Itachi-kun?" the girl grinned, blue eyes wide as she fantasized Itachi coming to realise what was in front of him, just as her okaa-san had once told her.

Together they would have seven children, all with raven hair and bright blue eyes, each of them trained to command a sword of the Mist which they would wield with blood red eyes...

"Juzo-senpai… he's dead."

Itachi recognised the look in her blue eyes all too well as they lost their innocence. It was the exact same look his otouto had the day he lost everything. The girl's face became blank, dropping her head to rest it against the floor. The paper still flying around the room followed suite, littering the floor.

"How did it happen?" came her voice from the abyss.

"As you know we were sent on a mission to the Land of Water," Itachi began.

Of course she had known. Juzo had complained about it mercilessly.

"We encountered a group of hunter-nin lead by a powerful foe, the fourth Mizukage himself. He is a container for a tailed-beast, a mass of chakra, known as the three-tails. Whilst we were able to defeat the hunter-nin, the man was a different story altogether. Juzo was killed as he attempted to deflect the beast's ultimate attack, impaled by his own sword."

"H-his own sword?" the girl laughed in a short bubble of hysterics. "Guess it was the way he would have wanted to go. Defeated by the only thing he ever loved. Should have married the thing when he had the chance."

Itachi just listened to the girl's ramblings, not knowing how to respond.

"Where is it now?"

"I… placed it in his hand. I couldn't bring him with me. The Mizukage was able to survive my Amaterasu."

"So you just left it there?" she retorted, an eyebrow lifted to accompany her monotone. "Juzo would have loved you for that. Essentially handing his prized sword back to the Land of Losers."

"I am sorry," Itachi said, not knowing what else he could say.

"You will be when he haunts you from beyond the grave, banging on about how you left his caw-pse for the crows you cherish more than your senpai."

And on that, rather morbid, joke the girl disappeared in a flurry of paper.

XxX

"Aiko?"

The girl turned, burying her face in her okaa-san's open arms, the tears spilling from her already red raw eyes. Konan could not help but notice that she was clutching one of her paper dolls in her hand, the one that held a twig. Aiko snorted, trying to catch her breath as she clung on for dear life and suffocated herself in her chest. The two of them dropped to the floor, Konan cradling her dear daughter as tight as she possibly could. It seemed like hours before her breathing slowed and her ragged breath took on a normal pace.

"Itachi told me what happened. I know it won't make it better, but if you wanted the sword…"

"I, I don't want his stupid wife," she sniffed, clutching her mother all the tighter.

The last thing the girl wanted was to send her okaa-san to her death, for what could she do to help? This ten year old could do nothing in the face of the monsters of this world.

"Okaa-san?" the girl called, removing her face from her mother's chest and wiping away her tears. "I need to be stronger. I want to be strong enough so that I can protect you and oji-san. I never… never want to feel like this again."

"If that is what you wish…" Konan murmured, her grey eyes downturned thinking about how she had led her daughter down this path. "We can start by crafting your sword."

"No," she protested sharply. "No swords."

"But Aiko…"

The girl lifted herself off the ground, clenching her fists as she stood above her, eyes downturned and filled with an icy blue flame.

"My father established Akatsuki to be the path to peace. I'm going to inherit his will. I'm going to do it no matter what."

XxX

"What are you doing here, brat?" Sasori questioned from within Hiruko.

"I live here, Sasori," Aiko shot back, halting her push ups momentarily before continuing.

"Insubordinate whelp," Sasori sneered, thinking he had gotten rid of this sort of annoyance when the swordsman had died. "I meant, why are you not in the medical room? Did you not hear that Itachi was attacked by that traitor?"

"I heard, but it seemed that jiraffe-san got pecked into submission by a flock of crows. They say it was murder," the girl cackled, dropping and clutching her sides at her own joke.

"He's not dead," Sasori countered. "My spies have confirmed it."

"I know that," the girl sighed, pinching her nose. "The joke was that… you know what, forget it. Give Itachi my best."

"You are not coming to visit him?"

"He's fine," the girl commented, rather blasé as she began doing sit ups. "Just a little exhausted from the fight from what I heard. It's looking good for me, right? Maybe with Orochimaru gone I can become your partner."

"Not Itachi's?" the puppet confirmed.

The girl only gave a shrug as she sat up.

"I guess becoming Itachi's partner wouldn't be so bad, but don't you think we would make a great team? You could distract them with your puppets, while I cut them up with my paper. Okaa-san is even teaching me how to make clones! Could you imagine how much we'd outnumber them by," she cackled, a fire building up behind her.

"I could think of nothing worse than having you for a partner, brat," Sasori dead-panned, causing her imaginary flames to wilt away into ashes.

"Ouch, Sasori," she cried, clutching her chest dramatically, "have a heart, will you?"

"A heart is, in fact, the only organ I do have."

Aiko just gave him an estranged look, shaking her head as she continued her workout. It was just a shame that she would never truly appreciate the artist's first attempt at 'the art of jokes'.

XxX

Konan watched the man in front of her tap his fingers, drumming them against the arm of the chair as if he were a king on his throne, contemplating her request.

"Hoshigaki Kisame is indeed a useful subordinate," came a deep grumble from behind an orange mask. "Of course I always intended for him to join Akatsuki in the long run, but what benefit do I have of sending him to join you now?"

"My daughter is highly talented in both my ninjutsu, and the kenjutsu taught to her by Juzo," she told the man known as Madara Uchiha. "Her ninjutsu is growing well, but without a swordsman for practise her blade will become dull."

"And how will this child serve me if I decide to invest in her development?"

"She already begs for membership of Akatsuki. Of course, right now, she is still too young, but once she is old enough and her skills have grown sufficiently there will be nothing stopping her. She will serve in your goal just as willingly as Nagato and myself."

Konan held her breath. On the outside Aiko was just as she was before, but a mother knew. She could see the pain in her eyes as she cracked her jokes and how her fingers twitched for a sword even though she had outright refused to craft one in their training sessions. Everyday she became stronger, but it was only a matter of time before she cracked without someone to replace the role Juzo had played in her life. She needed to heal, and perhaps another swordsman could be the one to do it.

"Very well," Madara agreed, standing up and approaching her. "I will command the swordsman to join the Akatsuki and continue the girl's tuition in kenjutsu. However, I expect her to enter the organisation once she turns twelve."

"Twelve? That barely gives us two…"

"As I recall, most genin graduate from the Academy at that age and begin to undertake D-ranks." Konan resisted the urge to sneer at the man, feeling that he was smirking under his mask. "Of course, I imagine our version of D-ranks might be quite a bit tougher than trying to catch the daimyo's cat. You'd best train her well in the time you have."

On that note, he disappeared in a distortion of space-time. Konan began to think that perhaps Yahiko had been correct about that man. He was an ass.

* * *

_A/N: Waaah. This Chapter makes me sad. I don't actually know what Juzo acts like because I've never watching the anime (manga for the win), but I liked his profile on Narutopedia so I just went with it. Either way I'm sure you know what lovable character is about to make his appearance next *squeals*. P.S I'm still struggling with one chapter. Send help -_-_


	8. Chapter 8 - A Samurai Named Suki

**Chapter Eight - A Samurai Named Suki**

When Kisame had been ordered to join Akatuski, he had merely accepted and prepared to join them without question. Alternatively, when told he would teach kenjutsu to a ten year old girl, he found himself wandering what greater force wanted her dead. He was no sensei, but perhaps that was a good thing considering how corrupt his own had been. What he was, however, was a man who followed orders, even if that led him to the path of self-destruction.

"It seems we are yet to be acquainted," he began. "Allow me to introduce myself, Hoshigaki Kisame."

"Pleased to meet you," the child responded politely, not a speck of pleasure, or any emotion at all for that matter, on their face.

"Well then, I suppose we'd best get down to it. Nothing better for learning kenjutsu than fearing for your life," Kisame grinned, gripping the hilt of his sword.

"I'm sorry?"

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to say when I cut off your limbs?" he taunted, raising an eyebrow at a snort that came from an unknown source.

Ignoring it to focus on the task at hand, Kisame rushed towards his opponent, finding his sword stopped by a mere kunai.

"Guess I was too eager," Kisame noted, retreating back. "Can't exactly teach you kenjutsu when you don't have a sword."

"I believe you have me mixed up with someone else."

"I don't see any other little girls around here."

Again, there was that snort. However, this time it was followed up by muffled laughter.

"My name is Uchiha Itachi," the child declared before pausing slightly. "A boy."

Kisame just raised an eyebrow, his eyes flicking to the source of the muffled laughter, only to find a flurry of paper.

"Her name is Aiko. I am surprised that she has yet to introduce herself," the kid who was supposedly a boy declared in monotone. "I believe it is almost tradition she hands each member a paper doll to signify their recruitment."

"I'm not here for a paper doll, I'm here to teach her kenjutsu," Kisame complained, ticked off that he had to hunt down his student.

"Then I suppose that explains why she is hiding. She has yet to pick up a sword after the death of my former partner. Also a Swordsman of the Mist."

"Not my problem," Kisame declared. "I've been told to teach her kenjutsu, so believe me when I say she's gonna learn, even if I have to meld her hand to the hilt."

XxX

Kisame prowled around the base in a sour mood, his little shadow thoroughly ticking him off. If she was going to follow him around, he was going to make damn sure he started to complete the orders given to him. He appeared behind her, picking her up by the scruff of the neck as her legs kicked out against him. He dropped her on the floor, thoroughly amused by her cold eyes which took in his sharp teeth before turning their attention to his back where he carried Samehada.

"Sword," he declared, throwing an insignificant blade down beside her. "Now take a stance."

The girl stood up, baring her teeth at the shark, ignoring the blade he had given her.

"No."

"Let me explain something to you very clearly, kid," Kisame threatened, noticing her wince. "My orders are to train you in kenjutsu, so pick up the sword before I make my sharks bite off your hand and strap it there in its place."

"I'm not interested in kenjutsu."

"I don't appreciate being lied to," the shark sneered, smelling the false information.

"Well then," the girl smiled, turning to him. "While it's an absolute pleasure for me, a sixty year old Samurai named Suki, to meet a fish such as yourself, I've got a seafood allergy so if you don't mind, I'll be taking my leave."

Kisame was about ready to bite the girl's head off. Enough, he thought. He was teaching her whether she wanted to or not.

"Lesson one," Kisame growled, lifting his sword with a grin, "dodging."

Aiko's eyes snapped to him, the bandaged sword already coming down at her. She surged chakra to her feet, blasting off the ground and landing in a crouch. Her fingers were already working through hand signs, her cheeks puffing up to hit him with a geyser of water.

"Thanks for that, that little drizzle felt nice," Kisame grinned, having not moved an inch.

"Talk about dry humour," the girl muttered, eyes flicking to the side.

Kisame hit out at the girl again, swiping left and right whilst his other hand rested behind his head casually. The girl's dodging was impressive. Her mind thought exactly like a swordsman predicting his every move. So, he mixed it up and took a swipe at her legs. She jumped, adapting quickly, but she was in trouble now. To be impaled was such a sad way to go. However, before the girl descended her body merely disintegrated into a flurry of paper.

The girl reappeared across the room, her hand outstretched as the paper began to fold and form a mass of shuriken. She commanded them all to target him, but he merely knocked them away with Samehada. The girl had already crafted more weapons, a kunai in her hand which she threw… backwards.

"I think your aim is a little off," Kisame laughed.

Aiko could only sweat drop in embarrassment. She really needed to stop crafting kunai to throw. It never ended well for her. However, it at least served as a good distraction as Kisame's sword hit her body, watching as it peeled paper before erupting into a mass of explosions.

Content, Aiko clapped her hands in finality, frowning when she noticed a puddle around her feet. A rolling mist seemed to work it's way in the room, causing her heart to pound loudly as she tried to anticipate where the swordsman would attack from. A shadow loomed in front of her, causing her to back up, her hand meeting what felt like the sharp edge of a thousand razor blades. She removed her hand, stumbling forward as she cleared her path with her paper. It wrapped itself around the figure like a mummy, causing it to collapse into a puddle, her paper returning to her bright blue, full of water-natured chakra.

"Chuh, another water clone," she muttered, her breathing haggard as she realised she barely had enough chakra to remain conscious.

"Good. Now you have no chakra, there is only one option left to you," came Kisame's voice from behind.

Aiko whirled to where the voice came from, backing up until the sword he had previously thrown was at her feet.

"I refuse," she countered.

"Why?" Kisame asked sarcastically. "'Cus of your so-called swordsman? Must have been an embarrassment with a sword if he went and died on you."

"Take that back!" she screamed, a feral look in her eyes.

"No wonder you don't want to pick up a sword," Kisame continued, grinning, "he probably couldn't even skewer a piece of meat."

"Stop it!"

"I mean, just look at what he left behind as his legacy. A girl too scared to pick up a sword to defend his honour."

"I SAID, STOP!"

In a single move the girl scooped up the sword, her whole body twisting as she put every morsel of strength into the attack. Kisame lifted up Samehada, grunting when his foot moved back an inch. Their blades clashed, the girl letting out frustrated cries every time their blades met. His grin widened as she skidded past his defences on her knees, targeting the back of his ankles only to meet Samehada buried in the ground in front of her. It seemed that if the blow had landed, the tendon wouldn't be cut, but his foot sliced clean off as the blade shattered into pieces.

"Pretty good, kid," Kisame grinned, eyes set of the girl as she dropped the hilt of the broken sword.

"Gahhh!"

Aiko let out a war cry, thousands of paper sheets concentrating at her hand as they crafted a blade. Kisame casually maneuvered Samehada to block the paper sword, eyes widening when the girl prevented its repositioning with a single bare hand, the blade of paper making it through his defences just before the girl's body collapsed on the ground from chakra exhaustion. The shark tutted, giving her a light kick to make sure she wasn't dead.

"Now that was a fight to honour a swordsman."

XxX

"Waaaiiiiitttttt!"

"If I even see someone so much as hesitate I will not fail to string you up," Sasori warned.

"Kisame!"

Aiko huffed, pushing ahead as she tried to catch up to the three shinobi bearing black cloaks emblazoned with red clouds.

"Can… you… please… just… stop," she panted between jumps, having finally caught them up.

Itachi came to a halt, Kisame following suit while Sasori grumbled about waiting.

"I believe this will not take long, Sasori-senpai," Itachi murmured, eyeing up the girl who was doubled over and breathing heavily.

"Woo, I feel light-headed," she breathed, hands rested on her bended knees. "I only realised you guys had left…"

"Cease your babbling, brat, we have someone to meet," Sasori snapped.

"Right," she smiled, tilting her eyes downward as she lifted a hand, paper flying out of her pocket.

She caught it in her hand, offering it to the swordsman with a low bow.

"For you, Kisame-sensei."

Kisame tilted his head, taking the paper and glancing down at it. It was a paper doll, wrapped in the signature Akatsuki cloak. Its skin was blue, infused with her water-based chakra, topped with his dark blue hair, hitai-ate and gill-markings. The most significant feature, however, was a 3D Samehada crafted entirely of paper, which the doll held across its chest.

'_I believe it is almost tradition she hands each member a paper doll to signify their recruitment.'_

"About time," Kisame grinned, pocketing the craft in his cloak.

"Sorry it took so long," she smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. "You'll help me work on my kenjutsu when you get back, right?"

"Only if you're ready to be sliced up," he taunted.

"I'm pretty sure I'll be making sushi," she laughed, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Enough of his nonsense, brat," Sasori growled. "We are leaving."

With that Hiruko took off, no longer willing to wait. The two remaining shinobi followed him, nodding to the girl that called after them as she waved all too enthusiastically.

"Come back soon! No peeping on Itachi-chan when on mission Kisame!"

Kisame shook his head, the girl's cackling fading into the distance as they set out on their mission.

* * *

_A/N: My absolute favourite chapter is up next. I'm so excited to post it - that last part in this chapter might give you some hints, but I doubt you'll figure out what's so funny XD_


	9. Chapter 9 - Two Little Frogs

_A/N: Sooo... did you guess what was coming up from the last chapter XD. I really hope you enjoy this one. It makes me laugh so much... If I'm aloud to say that even though I wrote it..._

**Chapter Nine - Two Little Frogs**

"Hey, Dei! I finally perfected it," Aiko grinned, showing off the small bird she had crafted from paper, an exact replica of the one he used to fly on.

With a prompt from her hand it lifted off, flying above their heads.

"Looking good," Deidara praised, a twinkling glint in his eye. "Now make it go katsu, un!"

"No way," Aiko protested, snatching the bird from the air to hold it against her chest protectively. "I worked ages on this so that your paper doll would have a noble steed. I'm not going to just make it go katsu!"

"Then how is it gonna become true art unless you make it go katsu?" Deidara questioned, reaching out for the bird. "Give it here. I'll load it with my clay and do it myself, un."

"No!" Aiko shrieked, throwing the bird into the air. "Be free, Bill! Become one with da skies! Pfft… get it. Dis-guise. 'Cus it can't be seen."

"Yeah right, un," Deidara scoffed, holding up his scope to his eye as he tried to seek out the bird.

"Nooooo."

Deidara grunted as he found himself under the weight of the girl as she tried to pin his arms to the ground. At first he fought back, slapping his hand in her face, and squishing it as she tried to force her head against it like a charging bull. Suddenly, Deidara become slack, his hand now pressed lightly on her face.

"What?" she frowned, looking down at him as he blinked at her.

"What's that on your face, un?" he wondered.

"What?" the girl panicked, scrunching up her eyes.

"I can see it with my scope, un."

"What, what is it?" she freaked out, getting off of him as he hands flew rapidly though jutsu to create a small puddle. "I don't see anything."

"It's super ugly, yeah," Deidara stated, causing the girl to let out an 'eep' as he came closer and blatantly stared at her face. "It's like, it's like…"

The girl held her breath, wondering what hideous thing had emerged on her face. Maybe she really was half frog after all.

"Oh, wait, that's just your normal face, un."

"DEIDARA!" she bellowed, a glint in her eye as she crafted her paper sword, running after him as he jumped on his bird, making his great escape. "I'll get you back for this!"

XxX

Itachi blinked as two blurs sped past him, one lavender and the other bright yellow.

"Dei, I don't think this was a good idea," Aiko gulped.

"It was your idea, un!" Deidara shot back.

"That doesn't make it a good one. In fact it probably makes it an idiotic one."

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now, un."

There was an almighty bellow from down the hall, causing the two to exchange looks before speeding up.

"There is no way we can outrun him, come on let's hide in here," Aiko quipped, pointing towards a cupboard.

Deidara threw the cupboard open in panic, crawling in and slamming it closed once Aiko had followed him.

"Dei, I'm scared," the girl whimpered.

"Here's what we're gonna do, un," Deidara breathed. "Once Kakuzu comes, we throw the money we stole out and hope it's enough so that we don't end up becoming a source of his immortality."

"Hearty plan you've got there," she giggled.

"I thought you were scared, un!"

"I am. I'm sorry. I joke when I'm terrified," she sighed, the two of them sitting in darkness for a moment. "Dei? Will you hold my hand?"

"I'm not holding your hand, un," the boy refused, scowling into the darkness.

"Please?"

Deidara sighed, feeling around in the darkness for the girl's hand. Finally, as he brushed her fingers, he repositioned his hand so that it rested in hers.

"Ahhhhhhh!" he screamed, jumping out of the cupboard with tears in his eyes.

"Pahaha!" Aiko giggled, watching him scrape his hands on the floor. "Sorry, Dei, is the super-hot-spicy seasoning I rubbed all over my hands causing you trouble?"

"Water," the boy shrieked, going red in the face. "I need water, un."

"Ohh, I don't know," the girl cooed, "I'm feeling a little tired, so chakra-exhausted lately."

The boy only floundered on the floor, Aiko joining him as she clutched her stomach with laughter, only cutting off when she felt a malevolent presence above her.

"K-Kakuzu?" she stammered, blinking up at the mizer.

They hadn't really stolen his money. She wasn't that much of an idiot.

"Did you make this?" Kakuzu questioned sharply, holding up the forged money she had made for the scheme.

"Y-yeah, but it's not real Kakuzu," she defended herself, sweating slightly. "I explained didn't I? That I would pay you money to act as if we'd stolen yours, but we would really be taking fake money. Remember?"

"This fake money…" he drawled, looking at it with a gleam in his eye. "You will make more."

"I-I don't think that's a good idea, Kakuzu. Gyahhh," she squealed, finding her foot being lifted as Kakuzu dragged her away, her back sliding across the floor. "Save me, Dei!"

However, her cries for help only fell on deaf ears, or rather really red ones, as the blonde-haired boy remained on the floor, half-conscious as he gasped for water.

XxX

Aiko focussed on the paper in front of her, which was tinged a little grey in colour. Catching it in her hand, she felt comforted by the familiar wind-nature chakra of her mother. Closing her eyes and furrowing her brow, she concentrated on the chakra within, willing it to…

"SURPRISE, UN!"

Aiko almost had a heart attack as Deidara popped out from the ground.

"Deidara, you idiot!" she yelled, clenching her fists and aiming for his head.

"Pahaha, did I scare you, un?" he laughed, diving back into the earth at the last minute.

"No!" Aiko shot back, chasing him around the room like a real life version of whack-a-mole as he jumped out every so often.

Growling, Aiko found herself having enough of his antics, opening up a bottle of water she had pre-prepared for occasions such as this. Grinning, she worked her way through hand signs, diluting her super, special water with that of her chakra nature and guiding in into the network of holes Deidara had been forming. She watched as several water spouts were created before the artist himself popped out the ground on one, soaking wet.

"Pahaha! Deidara, you're practically shimmering!" she laughed, clutching her stomach to see the boy was now covered head-to-toe in the bright orange glitter.

"What the hell did you do, un?" Deidara exclaimed, taking in his glitter-coated form.

"I made you into art," she cried wistfully, outlining a rainbow crescent with her palms.

"I'll show you art, un," Deidara warned her, furiously moulding clay with his hands.

Aiko sneered, summoning paper bombs to meet his clay, the two of them clashing in a mighty explosion which sent the two flying across the room in opposite directions. She braced for impact, grunting when she found herself to land in something much softer than expected.

Blinking, Aiko opened her eyes to meet her mother's own. However, instead of their usual grey that looked upon her with kindness, they were filled with two rather violent looking storm clouds.

"O-okaa-san," Aiko laughed nervously, finding herself being placed on the floor next to a very sheepish looking Deidara who had been caught by Sasori.

Aiko looked at him as if to convey how much trouble they were in, finding herself sputtering with laughter when she noticed half his hair had been burnt clean off.

"Don't know what you're laughing at, un. You're missing eyebrows."

"I am?" she cried.

However, before she had the chance to create a puddle for inspection there was a surge of killing intent from the two guardians in front of them, looking down on them as their bodies became paralysed with fear.

"What do you two brats think you are doing?" Sasori sneered, the empty eyes of Hiruko bearing into them.

"Tr-training?" Aiko attempted, beads of sweat running down her face.

"Are you lying to me, Aiko?" Konan asked, her eerie calm somehow even more terrifying than Sasori's outright rage.

"Yes. No. I don't know," she cried in panic.

"It was Aiko's fault, un. She covered me in glitter!" Deidara revealed.

"You were the one who brought your exploding clay into this!"

"But not the paper tags!" Deidara yelled before dropping his voice for her ears only. "Take the blame, un. Your own okaa-san won't kill you, but Sasori no Danna won't hesitate."

"Oh, don't worry, brat. I can think of something much more painful than your death as punishment," Sasori warned, having overheard everything.

"I-itwasme," Aiko squeaked, as Hiruko reached out for Deidara.

"What was that, brat?" Sasori inquired, turning his vengeance on her.

"It was… me?"

Deidara looked stunned for a moment.

"Don't go trying to look all cool, un," Deidara inputted casually. "Only I'm capable of such art."

"It seems they are both to blame," Konan declared, glaring at the two children so that they both shivered slightly.

"Then perhaps it would be appropriate we combine our efforts in punishing these brats."

Two audible gulps could be heard throughout the room.

"An excellent idea," Konan murmured, nodding as she agreed to sign their death papers. "What did you have in mind?"

It was five whole minutes before either of the children worked up the courage to speak again. Their minds reeling over what hideous punishment the joint minds of their guardians would put them through.

"Your mother is scary, un."

"So is your Danna."

"We're gonna be buried without our hair and eyebrows, aren't we, un?"

"Touché, toupee."

XxX

"Why does your mother even have these, un?" Deidara questioned, looking down at his hideous form.

"Apparently her Sensei had this weird frog obsession," Aiko sighed, wondering how she had ended up in a bright pink frog suit for the second time in her life.

Unfortunately for them it wasn't just the suits. Their punishment had come in the form of being Akatuski's slaves. So far they had oiled the mechanisms of Sasori's puppets (all infinity of them), made paper bombs for Konan (about infinity of them), and trimmed Zetsu's foliage (which was just creepy).

"Deidara, Aiko," came a soft voice, "do you have the time to fetch me more dango?"

Aiko sighed, turning to the boy.

"Sorry, Itachi, but Kisame said no more dango," the girl told him sympathetically with a pat on the back. "The sugar is making you jittery."

"W-what do you mean?" the boy twitched, his body no longer under his own control.

"No more dango," came Kisame's growl as he hit the boy on the head with the hilt of his blade.

Itachi's form hit the ground with a thump, his body still giving out involuntary shudders every so often. Aiko would feel sorry for him under normal circumstances, but it seemed this course of action really was for the best.

"Alright, kids, you know what I want," the shark grinned, scooping up his partner and resting him on the sofa.

The shark took a seat as well, looking to the two frogs expectantly.

"Again?" Deidara groaned. "Aren't you tired of it already, un?"

"Guess I'll have to tell Konan and Sasori…"

The two kids exchanged a look before sighing, taking a stance in front of him.

"_Two little frogs_,"

"Me," came Deidara's sigh as he pointed to himself.

"And me," came Aiko's screech, mimicking Deidara's actions.

"_Hopping along down the stream_,"

Kisame grinned as the two kids began frog hopping over each other.

"_But then (oh no!), a fin is seen_."

The two kids slapped their hands on their cheeks, Aiko letting out the enthusiastic 'oh no' before Deidara placed his palms on top of his head to mimic a shark fin.

"_Bye bye frogs, they were yummy._"

The two kids waved goodbye, and then dropped to the floor, playing dead.

"Again," Kisame commanded, enjoying the groans that emanated from the two frogs on the floor.


	10. Chapter 10 - Sword of Sensei

_A/N: This is the chapter I have been agonising over for Jashin knows how long! So it's not perfect, but it's certainly better than the mess it started out as *sweat drop*. Also shout out to Arclight001 - Canon Kisame would 100% enjoy the live version of 'Two Little Frogs'._

**Chapter Ten - Sword of Sensei**

"Psst, Deidara, psst, hey Deidara," Aiko whispered, puffing up her cheeks as the young shinobi continued to snooze. "HAVE YOU GONE DEATH, YOU DAMN PYRO?"

Aiko winced as a fist met her face, snarling as Deidara blinked at her and rubbed his eyes. She got up to chuck his Akatsuki cloak at his chest with a 'chuh'.

"Get dressed, we have a mission," she commanded, folding her arms and glaring at him.

"You losing your mind, un? You won't be joining us for another couple of months," he grumbled, digging his head back into his pillow. "Just go back to sleep."

"Fine," she huffed, turning around to slide open the door to his room, "but don't expect mercy when I use your blood to sharpen Kubikiribocho when I come back."

Deidara nestled back into his pillow, enjoying its cool cotton... his eyes shot open as he scrambled to the door, his face hitting the floor as his sheets tangled around his legs. Aiko smirked down at him as he flew out the room, hands on her hips.

"Be ready in five, we're heading for the Land of Wave."

XxX

"You're crazy, un," Deidara shook his head, his hair bustling in the wind at the speed of his clay bird. "If you wanted the sword so bad, you could have just asked."

"No I couldn't," she protested, eyes forward. "If I asked Akatsuki to retrieve the sword it wouldn't rightfully be mine. I need to be worthy of it. I need to challenge its current wielder."

"Momochi Zabuza," Deidara frowned. "Not exactly an easy target, un."

"He'll be a kitten compared to Kisame-sensei," she grinned, her smile softening at Deidara's intense gaze. "Don't give me that face, Dei. Have a little faith, would ya?"

She leaned into him, brushing her shoulder against his as he looked away.

"Just try not to get yourself killed, un."

"I didn't know you cared so much," she teased, her eyes crinkling from her upraised cheeks.

"Well they would hardly believe me if I told them Itachi set the base on fire, would they?" he shot back, letting out a yelp as she punched him in the arm.

As Deidara continued to mutter about his arm, Aiko hung her head over the side of the bird, looking out for the base of operations for the Gato Company. Flying above the stretch of water that led to Wave, she finally spotted it; a building situated outside a dock. Below people were loading boats full of wooden crates for shipping.

"Down, down, Deidara! It's right here," she commanded, tugging at his cloaks sleeve.

"Alright, un," Deidara sighed, his eyes sweeping the ground and stalling on those milling around, each of them displaying weapons and concealing many more.

Aiko jumped off the bird, pushing chakra to her feet to cushion her landing. Before her two men staggered up to her, one shirtless and brandishing a giant club, while the other wore a mask and held a large sword.

"Can we help you, little girl?" the shirtless one boomed, towering over her with a smug look on his face.

"How kind," she smiled, beaming up at him. "I'm looking for Momochi Zabuza. Perhaps you could point me in his direction?"

"Now what would a sweet girl like you want with the Demon of the Bloody Mist?" he squinted, scratching at his blonde mohawk.

"I'm here to take his sword," she grinned, looking up as she addressed the gathering crowd. "Momochi Zabuza, I am here to challenge you for the honor of wielding Kubikiribocho."

Aiko's blue eyes swept the crowd, her jaw clenching as the half-rated shinobi exchanged looks before bursting out into laughter.

"I don't know why you guys are laughing. Even that little girl has more balls than all of you combined to challenge me."

The laughter was cut off in an instant, his deep rumbles carrying over them like thunder as the crowd began to part to reveal the man himself, a young boy stood at this side. However, all Aiko could take in was the familiar hilt peeking out from his back, a sight which still sent a twinge through her heart.

"It's just a shame she'll be nothing but a blood smear soon enough."

"You're not how I imagined at all," she quipped, barely blinking at his threat. "Sure you're all tall and buff, but Juzo and Kisame-sensei would have at least cracked a smile by now. Although I suppose you could be underneath all those bandages…"

She tilted her head, resting two fingers on her chin as she studied his covered mouth, before shaking her head.

"Nope, definitely scowling," she concluded.

"So you say you are a student of two Swordsman, including Kubikiribocho's former wielder, yet you carry no sword?" he inquired, piercing her with the two pinpricks that he had for eyes.

"Don't worry about that," she smiled. "I imagine Kubikiribocho will soon fulfill that role."

Suddenly, her smile turned serious as she disappeared into a flurry of paper, emerging at Zabuza's side wielding a paper sword. She smirked as it clashed against metal.

"Look out!" came Deidara's cry.

Aiko could feel the movement at her back, knew he was there, but there was nothing she could do about it, only brace for impact as she was pierced with senbon. Jumping back, she crouched down and scowled at the boy who had interfered to the point where she now resembled a porcupine.

"Poison?" she hissed in question.

"I do not poison my senbon. It was merely a warning that if you plan to attack Zabuza I will not stand idly by," came his soft reply.

"I didn't realise the Demon of the Bloody Mist was so weak he needed a scrawny boy to defend him."

"I'll take care of… wait, did you say a boy, un?" Deidara gawped, mouth hanging open at the youth.

"That is correct," confirmed the boy, drawing out senbon and clasping them between his fingers. "However, you will find yourself indisposed if you fight me, for I only live to serve as Zabuza's tool."

"How did you know?" Deidara asked Aiko, squinting at her suspiciously.

"Well you're a boy, right?" she shrugged.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Deidara yelled, mouth outstretched to wild proportions.

"Enough," Zabuza intercepted. "You will not need to fight Haku. I wish to show this girl exactly what a Swordsman without mercy is capable of."

"Finally," Aiko breathed with a smirk as she grasped her sword. "Get ready to become the Sliced De-ugh!"

Aiko let out a grunt as Kubikiribocho swiped at her, her hands straining against its weight.

"You talk too much," he grunted, retracting his sword to strike once more.

Aiko hit the ground, springing back up to feint at his side before coming in at a new angle and meeting his blade once again. Brandishing a hand, she crafted paper shuriken, guiding them to assault his body and watching as he flicked each of them away with the edge of his sword. Using the distraction, she targeted his back.

"Too slow," he growled, facing her front on to clash swords once again.

They exchanged a number of blows, each of them allowing her to take a step back until she was walking on the water of the docks. Slowly, the paper began to peel from her body, surrounding Zabuza on the water with four paper clones. They charged in, each of their swords swiping at every height and angle. The first was dispelled with a single kick, the next two finding their blades blocked simultaneously, whilst the fourth let out a cry.

"Water Style: Great Geyser!"

Aiko smirked as the water beneath Zabuza shot up in a five meter diameter, rising so high that the water droplets only began to fall back down a full three seconds later. Eyes open to the water, she grimaced when a sea of mist began to encompass the area, becoming thicker by the second until she was completely blind. Gritting her teeth, she sent out paper tags, allowing them to taste the chakra filled air, igniting the paper bombs amongst them once she felt a concentration of the heavy chakra that was threatening to choke her. Three bangs echoed out, yet the mist remained.

"You think yourself a swordsman? Don't make me laugh. You're a girl playing shinobi," came his gruff voice, seemingly from all directions as her body shook, clinging to her sword white knuckled. "I will show you what it means to be outclassed."

"Now who's the chatterbox," she muttered, her heart pounding in her chest and the blood rushing through her ears.

She felt him coming too late, his approach swift and silent. She lifted her sword to scrape across his blade's edge before it landed on her torso. Chakra flairing, she landed back on the water choppily, having disappeared in a flurry of paper and earning herself a deep cut that threatened to soak her clothing in blood.

Grimacing through the pain, she lifted her sword to stop the second and third blows. Even with her adrenaline spiking, her arms threatened to give out, causing her to panic as the fourth prepared to maul her. With a flick of the wrist, she summoned a mass of paper bombs, causing Zabuza's eyes to widen, a flicker of hesitation passing between them before her retreat was interrupted by the violent explosion that sent her flying backwards.

Unfortunately, it seemed the Demon's reaction time was far superior to hers as she slid across the water, sinking slightly with ringing ears before finding herself enclosed within a water prison from behind. Weakly, she pounded on the walls, wincing as her blood mixed with the prisons water, dying it a light pink.

"Game over," Zabuza smirked, lifting his sword.

"Wait," Aiko croaked, her mind achieving a calming clarity as the light reflected off her prison.

"Don't waste your breath. You'll achieve your dream to become one with Kubikiribocho once I sharpen its blade with the last drops of your blood," the swordsman growled, a menacing glee in his eye.

"Then you'll never achieve your own," she threatened amongst rasping breaths. "Kirigakure will never become yours if I die by your hands."

Zabuza's eyes narrowed.

"What would you know of conquest?"

A high-pitched giggle escaped Aiko's lips fueled by her blood loss.

"I am the daughter of conquerors. My family defeated Hanzo of the Salamander to dominate Amegakure and soon they and the members of Akatsuki will conquer the world, including your precious Kirigakure," she boasted as her head lifted in pride to show her steeled eyes. "Let me go and perhaps you'll be rewarded, but kill me and you won't live long enough to set eyes on your home ever again."

Nothing but silence was heard on the breeze, creating an atmosphere that could be cut with a knife before Zabuza looked at the sky and let out a deep chuckle before whipping his head back to the girl in his grasp.

"You talk a good game kid, but if that little girl you brought along is any indicator as to the strength of this 'Akatsuki' I don't think I'll have a problem."

"KATSU!"

All Aiko could comprehend was the melding of dark and light blue into each other as she rolled across the water, struggling to maintain a grip on the water's surface before a firm grip lifted her by the collar. Blinking to stop her swirling eyes, she looked up, taking in the sight of an unconscious Haku sprawled over Deidara's shoulder. Grasping him by his collar, Deidara threw the boy to the ground, his teeth grinding in anger as his eyes promised death.

"Geez Dei, what took you so long? Were you and Haku exchanging hair tips or something?"

"Impossible," Zabuza growled, eyes snapping from Haku's unconscious form to the blonde that was currently half-supporting, half-choking Aiko by the neck as his curled fist rubbed into her lavender locks violently. "Haku would never let himself be defeated by scum like you."

"It would appear that 'the little girl I brought along' is stronger than you think," Aiko smirked, her smugness dulled by the fact her hair was sticking out at odd angles, "and he isn't even the strongest one! Actually, he's probably the weakest…"

Aiko let out a hacking noise as Deidara's arm continued to constrict her airway, unconcerned to the mist that began to roll in from the water, thickening to the point that the pair couldn't see a metre in front of them.

Meanwhile, Zabuza recalled fonder times. The image of his fellow Academy students flickered before his eyes, his inner demonic aura stirring as he promised himself that these two insignificant brats would soon be joining them. He lifted the hilt of his sword, muscles rippling as he brought it down without mercy, a metallic twang ringing throughout the area. As his sword hit the ground, Zabuza let out a monstrous roar.

"I think he's figured out we're not in there," Aiko said, tilting her head to the side as she listened to the swordsman's cry rise up from the mist below the soaring clay bird.

"You think?" Deidara snapped, voice drenched with sarcasm.

"So, what do you think? C2? I'll have some modifications to make of course," Aiko grinned, waving a paper bomb slotted between two fingers.

"Maybe you should ask one of the stronger members of Akatsuki, un," Deidara taunted, eyes focussed on the distance.

"Awww, come on Dei, don't be like that," Aiko whined. "Help me make the swordsman go boom! Or are you too scared my art will be better than yours?"

"As if," Deidara muttered, already beginning to mold his clay, "and it's not boom. It's KA…"

A deafening explosion rang out from the mist, the intensity of pure chakra hitting the two straight on as the mist cleared at its source. Aiko blinked before punching Deidara in the arm.

"Hey!"

"You totally blew him up without me!"

"No I didn't, un."

"Oh yeah, and who else could it be?" Aiko inquired as she glared at Deidara for his betrayal.

Deidara adjusted his scope and focussed on the epicentre of the chakra surge.

"Looks like Kisame-senpai."

"It is not!" Aiko countered.

"Then go look for yourself," Deidara snapped, shoving Aiko off the clay bird before she could even hear his characteristic 'un'.

XxX

Kisame grinned, showing off his sharpened teeth as Samehada pressed against Kubikiribocho, the clash unleashing waves of visible chakra that cut through the mist like butter.

"Still playing in the mist, Zabu-chan?"

"You," Zabuza spat as he tested the waters against the bandaged blade before jumping back and lifting his sword in challenge. "I hear you're teaching little girls how to swing a sword now."

"That's right," Kisame confirmed, lifting Samehada in response. "She could probably teach you a thing or two."

"I doubt that considering I just about cleaved her in two," Zabuza shot back, showing off his own sharpened teeth.

"Is that so?" Kisame said, eyes narrowing as he lost his playful grin. "Then it seems I don't have the time to play around."

Zabuza's eyes widened as Kisame appeared at his side, lifting his sword to block Samehada before his foot impacted with his chest, causing him to skid across the water. His hands flashed through hand signs, a water dragon emerging from the depths which found itself sliced in two by the sharks blade. From behind, a barrage of water bullets targeted Kisame, hitting him directly before he burst into water. In turn, Zabuza surged chakra to his feet, dodging the shark that leapt from the water, jaws wide in the promise to swallow him whole. Two swords clashed once again, and then the two were back where they started, Zabuza hunched whilst Kisame took a step forward on the water.

"_aaaaaaaaaaaaa_aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH**HHHHHHHH**!"

SPLASH!

Kisame sighed, lifting a single eyebrow as Aiko emerged from the water like a drowned puppy, one arm wrapped around his shark summon that had assisted her in reemerging. Her blue eyes met his, widening slightly as she visibly gulped.

"K-Kisame-sensei," she stuttered, letting out an 'eep' as she was lifted from the water; finding it weighing herself down and running off her body, back to its source.

Kisame's eyes lowered to her chest, looking at the ripped material of her shirt to where several sheets of paper now plugged up the wound, the pure white stained with red.

"Should have dodged," he suggested casually.

"You think?" she grumbled, puffing up her cheeks.

Aiko let out a yelp as she was placed back on the water, the shark summon emerging by her side. Before her, Kisame flickered away, dodging the pillars of water which sprang up underneath his feet. She placed a hand on the summons nose fondly, eyes fixed on the battle before her. Every water release made her own look like the equivalent of a kiddie pool as it drained the sea itself. She couldn't even follow the trajectory of the blades, only feel the ripples of chakra as they met midair. Zabuza was just… playing with her this entire time.

This was a true fight between Swordsmen.

But of the two, Kisame was better.

Soon Zabuza was nothing but a panting wreck as he stood at his fellow swordsman's mercy. As Kisame lifted his blade to deliver the final blow, there was a flicker as Haku threw himself in front of his master, using himself as a human shield.

Kisame halted his blade.

"Move," he demanded, "or I'll slice you both in two."

"Whilst I am alive, you shall never harm Zabuza," Haku retorted, his voice soft.

"Then you'll both die where you stand."

"No!" Aiko cried, arm outstretched as she scrambled towards Kisame, crashing into his back and holding onto him for dear life. "It's time to go Kisame-sensei. I lost this battle."

Kisame could feel her shake as she clenched onto him like a lifeline, trying to ignore the patches of damp that seeped into his clothing, some of which he suspected were not due to the fact that she was still damp.

"Kisame, please," she whispered, resting her forehead on his back. "I want to go home."

In response, Kisame just shrugged, turning away to shrug the child off and place his sword back in its rightful place.

"Why?" came Haku's soft murmur after a few moments of deathly silence.

Aiko winced, looking up from the spot on her feet that she had been staring at for the past minute to look into the boy's eyes. Haku recognised the raw pain within them, when the promise to protect their precious people was at risk, but there was something more… Something that told him that she had lost the battle.

"We're leaving now. I lost," she stated simply. "Look after Kubikiribocho," she stalled, her eyes hardening as she looked back at the defeated swordsman who was hunched over, leaning upon his sword, "and if it is ever at risk, then seek out Akatsuki. If someone other than myself were to rip it from Zabuza's grip, then I would be shamed as a Swordsman."

"I… I understand," the boy replied, bowing deeply before the girl. "Thank you."

With a sharp nod towards Haku, Aiko turned to join the waiting Swordsman. Behind them, Haku turned to his precious person, vowing he would become a stronger tool, one that could never understand what it means to lose the person you love.

XxX

Aiko frowned down at her bandaged chest, finding her hand slapped away by her mother to stop her poking at the extensive bruising that peeked out from under it.

"Think I could compete with Kisame-sensei for the most blue Akatsuki member?" she chirped up, earning herself a scowl in response as her mother stared blankly at the wound. "Okaa-san?"

"Tell me why, Aiko."

Aiko winced at the bluntness of the question, looking up to find tears welling up in her mother's grey eyes.

"I thought I could beat him. I wanted the sword," she admitted, mouth tilted downwards.

"You could have died, Aiko! How am I supposed to trust you after this?"

"I took Deidara…"

"Deidara isn't enough!"

"I'm sorry," she cried. "I promise I won't do it again!"

"But how do I know that? How do I know you won't grow overconfident and seek out Zabuza once more?" she whispered, desperately clinging to her child's arms so that they pressed against her aching ribs.

Aiko herself feared for her status as a three dimensional object.

"Because even if I did defeat him, Kubikiribocho would be all Haku had left," she murmured, the vision of a soft-faced boy flashing across her mind before her blue eyes hardened. "The sword has passed on, and now I need to ensure it falls into the right hands."

Konan let out a sigh, her mouth settling into a thin line.

"_You_ will not do anything. Kubikiribocho is now an Akatsuki matter. Do you understand?" she questioned, her voice low as she dared Aiko to treat the question as anything less than rhetorical.

In response she gulped, nodding her head so quickly she feared she might break her neck. Remember when she said her mother was scary? Well forget that, she was downright terrifying.


	11. Chapter 11 - A Snake in the Grass

**Chapter Eleven - A Snake in the Grass**

Aiko's bright eyes focused on her oji-san trying, and failing, to suppress the broad grin on her face.

"Today marks your official membership as a member of Akatsuki," Pain declared, his swirly eyes trained on the girl who had grown so much over the past two years. "Therefore, it is time that we shared with you our goals."

"I thought Akatuski's goal was peace," she frowned, looking at the orange-haired man with a tilt of her head.

"Yes, you are correct, but Akatuski has three, what you may call, sub-goals, that we must complete to achieve the ultimate goal of peace," Pain explained, causing the girl's face to grow neutral as she focused. "The first was raising enough funds to support the work of our organisation."

"Wonder who took care of that," she murmured under her breath.

"The second is providing a service for shinobi countries, a fighting force for hire, for prices much below the standard to monopolise the industry. Once villages grow complacent we will exploit their weakness, gathering up the great power known in the world as tailed beasts."

Aiko sucked in her breath. So Akatuski sought out a power which was able to defeat a swordsman. Jaw clenched, her eyes narrowed as she saw an opportunity for revenge.

"The tailed beasts are essential for preventing war within this world, and once the shinobi forces have been eradicated, Akatsuki will dominate these lands, finally uniting them in an era of peace."

Aiko looked down at the ground, contemplating the grand scheme of things. With a nod, she turned her focus back to Pain.

"I won't let you down. I vowed to bring about my oto-san's desire for peace and I know he trusted you greatly when it came to achieving this. I will follow you until the very end, oji-san," Aiko declared.

_Far away in a village where it always rained, Nagato questioned whether there was a leak in the ceiling, for his cheek seemed to be speckled with water._

"Very good," Pain nodded, first to the girl, and then to Konan who held a black bundle in her arms, which she passed to him ceremoniously. "As with all our members you will wear this cloak; its red clouds representing the blood shed during war and reminding us of our great purpose."

Aiko's heart leapt as she spotted the familiar material. Internally, she was squealing at the thought of donning her very own cloak with bright red clouds. The thought almost made her dizzy. Slowly, she reached out for the soft material, a choir ringing out in the background as a bright light illuminated her.

"But for your first mission, you will not be needing it."

The choir cut off.

"Eh?" Aiko grunted, looking at the cloak mournfully as it was torn from her grasp. "What mission would I be going on to not need the cloak?"

"Your membership provides us with a unique opportunity," Konan explained, looking slightly sullen, "as you are an Akatsuki member who has no former affiliations with the Hidden Villages."

"So I'm going to be undercover as some sort of spy?" Aiko questioned.

"That is correct. Your age also provides us with a great advantage to put you in the presence of two tailed beasts in order for you to gather intelligence on them both," Pain continued.

"Very well," Aiko nodded, "so where will this meeting of tailed beasts take place?"

"In Konohagakure, where both hosts will be participating in the upcoming Chunin Exams."

XxX

Aiko adjusted her hitai-ite signifying her as shinobi of Amegakure once again, finding Deidara whacking her hand away.

"Stop fidgeting, un. You'll be fine. What's the worst that can happen?"

"You had to ask, brat," Sasori spat.

"Well, I could be found out and taken into T&I where they'll tickle me until I die. Or maybe one of the tests will involve me singing the Amegakure Village Anthem and I don't know it! Or maybe giant monsters will descend on the Chunin Exam, and I'll die because I'm supposed to be undercover as a weak genin!" she rambled, her eye twitching.

"Giant monsters?" Deidara laughed.

"Ok," she sighed, rubbing her chin. "So maybe that last one is ridiculous, but the others are totally possible!"

"Stop being so childish, brat," Sasori scolded from the corner of the motel room. "The only Village Anthem Amegakure has is the sound of blood raining down on the ground."

Aiko just nodded. She was just twitchy because of nerves, she supposed. Even if her mother promised they would assist right away if she sent a paper note. Suddenly there was a knock at the door as Konan came to collect her daughter, having been designated to drop her off in Amegakure and give the shinobi their orders.

"You'll do great, un," Deidara cheered, "and if you do get taken into T&I, or even if giant monsters attack, I'll come and make them go katsu, ok?"

"Thanks Deidara," Aiko smiled, enveloping the artist in a hug.

He really was sweet when he promised to make her enemies go katsu.

XxX

Aiko was rather enjoying the view of someone other than herself cowering before her mother's hardened glare. Even more satisfying was the fact that these were hardened shinobi. Jonins' even. The one at the brunt of it was her new fake-Sensei. Aiko suspected he was likely to be the sturdiest of the bunch since he hadn't peed his pants yet.

What made her snicker even more was watching the Genin be debriefed.

"But Sensei, who is she? I've never seen her before…" one boy with spiky blue hair piped up.

"And no-one will see you ever again if you dare question me, Tatsuo," her fake-Sensei growled back.

Aiko suspected that one was a bit of an idiot, so of course he ended up being her teammate.

"So Suki…"

Aiko had to stop herself from laughing. She highly suspected Kisame had something to do with the fake name given to her.

"What sort of skills do you have?" Tatsuo inquired under his breath, dark blue eyes flicking nervously to their Jonin Sensei.

He wore a green scarf and light grey jacket. It was kind of like an unofficial uniform to half the kids here, so she had to wear it too. That, along with the sword on her back which made her sweat drop.

"I use a Yumi," she dead-panned.

"That's a bow, right? Where are your arrows?"

Definitely an idiot.

"She has a sword," her other teammate, Anzu, pointed out, rolling her eyes.

She was a girl whose black hair was cropped short to frame her face. She sported a similar outfit to Tatsuo, except she had tied her grey jacket around her waist and had drawn her green scarf up around her mouth. Aiko couldn't help but be relieved that at least one of them had more than air between their ears.

"I use water release as well," she prompted, thinking it might be good if she knew their skills before they fought together.

She was keeping her paper-based techniques a secret, since it was her only means of communicating with external parties.

That and she liked messing with them. They had no idea why they were wearing paper bracelets on their wrists. Her mother had suggested them as an insurance policy, but Aiko thought they were the perfect tool for turning people into human puppets. She couldn't wait to stick them on Deidara to make him perform 'Two Little Frogs'. Her face brightened at the very thought.

"Ahh, I don't even know what nature I have," Tatsuo revealed.

"Water type, and I use knives," Anzu drawled, sounding bored.

Aiko sighed. So much for having a bad-ass team, although the gloomy girl was, at least, rather intimidating.

"Well just so you know I aim to make the finals, and I'll do everything in my power to make sure this team gets there!" she declared confidently.

"Heh, you won't need to do a thing," Tatsuo laughed. "Not with a powerful guy like me around."

Aiko just gave him a sceptical look, blinking as the gloomy girl piped up.

"Great, I'm stuck with the pep squad," she sighed before going on ahead.

XxX

Aiko was quite enjoying the show, arms folded as she watched a group of Konohagakure genin fight it out on the second floor. She was rooting for the guy in the green jumpsuit.

"Woo, go eyebrows!" she called out, grinning when he gave her a thumbs up.

She wondered how many spectators were so dumb that they didn't find it suspicous that Konohagakure had serious issues when it came to room numbering.

Of course, it was only so long until someone ruined all the fun. Aiko blinked not once, but twice at the sight of a miniature Itachi. The only evidence contrary to the fact that he hadn't shrunk himself down and snuck in to mess with her being the smug expression that twisted his features. She was pretty sure Itachi didn't even know what an expression was. Or a joke for that matter.

The important thing to note, however, was the boy stood alongside him. Aiko could plainly see his monster-like tendencies, with his bright sunshine yellow hair, sky blue eyes and oh-my-goodness he had cute little whiskers! Err, she meant totally evil whiskers...

Ok, so maybe he didn't look evil, but obviously the way he acted was. Like how he nodded along, making out that he didn't have a clue what his teammate was talking about as he pointed out the genjutsu. Aiko was convinced that each tilt of the head was a death sentence from the demon fox himself. Truly this boy was an evil mastermind with a talent in the deceptive arts.

Well, two could play that game.

"Nice to meet you," she bowed to the boy, who gawped at her address. "My name is Suki."

On the floor, Rock Lee made note of the girl who had cheered for him with tears in his eyes.

"The name is Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it," he shrieked.

Using the guise of being a loud-mouthed kid to attempt to deafen her. Yes, truly this fox was as cunning as they said. Now, to cleverly interrogate him for information!

"Tell me about yourself, Naruto," she smiled.

"Oh, well I like ramen, both instant and fresh, but Ichiraku's is definitely the best." Aiko nodded enthusiastically, scribbling away furiously before her hand stalled as she wrote down the word 'ramen'. "One day my dream is to be Hokage, eh, why are you writing this down?"

Ah, he had noticed! What a keen intellect - retreat, retreat!

"See you around, Uzumaki Naruto," she smiled, grabbing her team and rescuing them from his villainous ways.

"Bye," Naruto chirped, waving to her as he went to go tell his pink-haired teammate about his encounter. "Sakura, I think I just made a friend, although she kept taking notes on what I said…"

"As if, Naruto," the pink-haired kunoichi scoffed.

Ramen? The most malevolent source of chakra in this world liked… ramen? She wanted to say he was lying, but was a demon really so thorough as to leave a stray noodle in his hair? Perhaps it truly **was **a weakness of his. The Hokage part, at least, seemed to be the truth. The Kage were the strongest shinobi known to man and their fall would signify the conquering of the Village. Next, the world. It certainly sounded like something an evil fox would do… and oji-san, but that was completely different!

"Well, what do we have here."

Aiko lifted her head to the voice, her eyes meeting a man with black hair and slanted eyes. His headband and flak jacket indicated he was most likely a Jonin from the newly established Otogakure. She couldn't quite place it, but there was something very familiar about him…

"Please excuse me for a moment," their Jonin-sensei said to the Otogakure Jonin before turning to them, having just been in conversation with him. "You took your time, now make sure you do Amegakure proud."

Aiko actually sweat-dropped. How motivating.

"Good luck, little Ame genin," the Sound Jonin added, brushing past her as he whispered something only she could hear. "Beware of my little snakes in the grass. You might find they'll eat a paper doll such as yourself if you interfere with our plans."

Aiko's eyes widened, her body twirling around to witness the Jonin brush past a group of Konohagakure genin, led by a kid with ash hair and glasses. She suspected he said something to them too as the boy's gaze lingered on her, a dark look in his eyes.

She was _so_ dead.

* * *

_A/N: when I first wrote this Aiko's reaction to Naruto was kind of the typical 'but he's so nice, how can he be a demon?', but I'm so glad I did a rewrite. This is so much funnier! Also I hope it's okay I've moved to some canon events. I just thought I wouldn't NOT write her into the Chunin exams. Meh. Please accept it with the power of youth!_


	12. Chapter 12 - Dead or Alive

**Chapter Twelve - Dead or Alive**

Orochimaru was here. Orochimaru. Was. Here. All week she had come up with ridiculous and unlikely scenarios that might come up. Not getting to the final exam? Kakuzu told her to make herself useful and rob Konohagakure on her way out. The spirit of Hashirama sending an army of animated trees after her? Kisame told her to make firewood. Being so fantastic they brainwashed her into thinking she was a Leaf shinobi? Sasori had scoffed and told her they would send her back soon enough anyway.

But no-one had told her what to do if Orochimaru showed up. Aiko imagined that having such bad luck on a first official mission was unheard of.

Staring neutrally around the classroom full of perspective Chunin, perched on a desk, she forced herself to try and think about the situation logically. Unfortunately for her, logic dictated she was going to become snake food. Aiko's eyes flicked to the ash-haired boy, feeling his gaze resting on her.

'Well?' his questioning eyes seemed to ask of her.

_In response, she walked up and socked him in the face._

Well. She would have if she hadn't just had the chakra scared out of her by Orochimaru. Instead, she just gritted her teeth and extended a nod of sullen agreement to stay out of their way. Or maybe she was just agreeing to her death.

Who knew?

He didn't even respond, deciding to turn around and inform the so-called 'rookie-genin' of Konohagakure about their prospective opponents.

Rude.

However, her ears soon pricked up at the mention of Gaara of the Sand. It seemed the one-tail was a lot more straightforward with his malice, unlike the cunning fox. Even his appearance. Blood red hair and shadowed eyes? Obviously the one-tail knew his place, unlike that unnatural ray of sunshine. Speaking of which...

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I won't lose to you bastards! You got that?!"

Aiko just blinked. Clearly the fox was deranged. His mind was clouded with indecision; being unable to decide between his plan to draw people into a false sense of security with his cute and endearing ways, or to make enough enemies to plan a bloodbath. It was giving her a headache. Thankfully, the crack of glass and the sight of Orochimaru's minion bringing up a mouthful of blood made her slightly more cheerful before the examiners poofed into the room.

Taking her assigned seat, Aiko rested a hand on her cheek, smiling as they explained the concept of the written exam. She let out a scoff. Don't cheat? They might as well tell her not to breathe. She could practically sense the disturbances that pencil made on paper all over the room. All she had to do was find a person that she could deem a reliable source.

Her eyes fell instantly on the Uchiha two rows in front of her before she began scratching down answers herself. Unfortunately, it seemed that her own test wasn't the most pressing matter as an examiner began to note down her idiotic teammate's actions. Even from halfway across the room she could see him twitching his neck from side to side before letting out a gaping yawn as he peeked over at his neighbours paper.

Aiko slapped a hand on her forehead. He wasn't even copying someone _with the right answers_. Deciding her mission was in jeopardy, she sent a silent thank you up to her mother for being so smart, her grin widening like a Cheshire cat as she tugged at his wrist, causing him to let out a yelp.

Moments after, Ibiki growled at everyone to be quiet. She tried to look innocent, rather unsuccessfully she might add, but she couldn't help it. Tatsuo was gawping at his hand like it was possessed. Tugging once more the boy practically flew out his seat, making Aiko bite at her hand to snuff out her laughter. Even the examiners were exchanging puzzled looks amongst each other.

Red faced, Tatsuo re-seated himself, doing a rather splendid impression of a fish as his hand began to scribble chicken scratch, some of which even seemed to make sense. Deciding he was being possessed by a smart ghost, Tatsuo began to relax his hand, allowing Aiko to work her magic on his perceived IQ. Thankfully, her other team mate was able to handle herself.

"Ok, and now… we will begin the 10th question," Ibiki announced, beginning to explain how they now faced the possibility of being eternal genin.

Aiko honestly didn't care. Unfortunately, a certain Ame genin was about to crack. So she did what any good team mate would do as soon as his hand twitched upwards and yanked it back down so hard he ended up face-painting the desk with a loud SMACK.

He… might be unconscious now. Oops?

"Don't underestimate me! I will not run!" In that moment the nine-tails distracted her from her unconscious team-mate. "I'll take it! Even if I'm a genin forever! I'll will myself to become Hokage anyway, so I don't care! I'm not afraid!"

The whole room sat in stunned silence as Ibiki stared them down.

"Good decision. Now to everyone still remaining…"

Everyone in the room took a deep breath, awaiting with anxious anticipation as they prepared for the tenth and final question. Meanwhile, Aiko squinted at the Uzumaki with the expression of someone trying to work out kunai trajectories from question two.

"I congratulate you on passing the first test."

And so, with nothing but a few inspiring words and a twitch of his adorable whiskers, the nine-tailed fox sentenced more genin than there was supposed to be to the cheerily named 'Forest of Death'.

She scoffed. And to think she almost doubted that he wasn't an evil mastermind.

XxX

A five day survival test was definitely to her mission's advantage. It gave her plenty of time to observe her two targets and, hopefully, learn something about their skills. The tricky decision was who was she supposed to follow? She supposed she hadn't really been able to gather much information on Gaara, but her observation of Naruto had her pressing her lips into a thin line. Who was Uzumaki Naruto? How could a demon know how to play adorable so accurately, and why was no one else concerned when he shouted about Village domination every damn second? Either way, the answer to her question was now as clear as day.

Naruto it was.

"We've got company," Anzu sighed, seeming annoyed as she drew a knife and prepared for battle.

"Gee, if only I'd baked a cake," Aiko laughed, watching carefully as Kabuto's team approached her own.

She was really starting to hate that smug expression on Kabuto's face. She was hoping by the end of this task the leeches would suck his face off. Aiko tensed as the boy placed a hand on their unconscious teammates forehead, causing him to stir before blinking to take in the situation.

Medical ninjutsu? Definitely.

They hadn't been able to wake the kid up thanks to the whole head-but incident (even subjecting him to Naruto's shouting which Aiko suspected could wake the dead). In the end she had just used her trick from the first exam and smiled sweetly as the Chunin examiner watched him sign the form as if he were asleep. There was another kid with a weird pineapple shaped hair-do doing the same thing though so it couldn't have been that much of an uncommon practise.

"I just thought I'd let you know I have the Konohagakure teams covered. Maybe I could tell you all about it once we arrive at the tower four days from now."

Translation: stay away from the Leaf teams. I'm a butt head. Listen to me and I'll give you information.

She sighed, thinking herself like Itachi was to dango.

"Fine," she huffed. "I'll go watch the other one."

She could only imagine how painfully obvious the One Tail's evil tendencies would display themselves. How dull.

XxX

Tatsuo shook, barely daring to breathe in the knowledge of the fate of the three Kirigakure shinobi before him. Beside him Aiko giggled, causing his head to snap in her direction, eyes bulging as he awaited death.

"What?" she shrugged, turning to him and lifting her eyebrows. "That's probably the most entertaining thing he's said so far. Hehe… old man."

Tatsuo snapped his head to look over at Anzu, hoping she would at least see that their new team mate was clearly insane. Unfortunately, she just continued to crouch behind them, muttering to her knives as she stroked the blades edge.

_Forget that,_ he thought to himself, _they're both insane._

Meanwhile, Aiko had to applaud Gaara for his showmanship. The other fights had just been so… boring! It was the same again and again. He would mutter about death, announce 'desert coffin' with a spasm of his hand and voila; another one bites the dust.

Oh sure, it was funny when he called the shinobi an old man, and Aiko now had a decent impression of what the national anthem of Amegakure sounded like as the blood spatter hit the umbrella, but there was no adorable deception. No intricate and complex mind play, or clever plot to lure the genin into traps unknowingly. There wasn't even a single declaration to become Hokage … or Kazekage she supposed. This guy was just too straightforward and mind numbingly stereotypical 'bad guy' that she was almost relieved to find them entering the tower in what was probably record breaking time.

It was there where she found herself four days later, cursing Kabuto into oblivion for having to make her wait in a pest-infested forest despite having obtained a second scroll THREE WHOLE DAYS AGO.

"You…"

Aiko turned around, taking in the presence of Kabuto's two teammates.

"So if it isn't a team of spectacles. Where's the other one?" she questioned them.

"On his way, but before that, we wanted to ask what makes Orochimaru-sama so interested in a kid like you," the one in dark shades asked.

"Oh, me and jiraffe-san go way back," she grinned, witnessing her two teammates exchange looks, "and why wouldn't he be interested. I'm hilarious."

"How dare you insult him like that," the other spat. "You better watch your tongue if you don't want us to teach you some respect."

"Is it even possible to watch your tongue?" she frowned, turning to Anzo as she went cross-eyed and looked down at her tongue. "Mark that one as a yes, peachy."

"Call me that again and I will cut you," came the girl's response.

"Prepare for defeat."

The two Leaf shinobi took a fighting stance.

"If you want to take that on, then be my guest," she sweat-dropped, liking Anzu a lot more, even if she scared her a bit. "You two handle that guy. I'll take the shady one."

Aiko smiled as she drew her sword.

"A decision you will surely regret," the man murmured, chucking a couple of shuriken her way.

Aiko used her sword to counter the shuriken, dodging when the shinobi came close, his hand outstretched. She twisted her body, moving her sword to cut off his hand, finding him pulling it back and attempting a hit on her side. She kicked him back with a snarl. The shinobi skidded back on his feet, running back into the fray as he clenched his wrist. Either this guy was an idiot, taking on a kenjutsu specialist in close combat, desperate because he had no other skills, or there was some sort of benefit if he landed a hit. Given his confidence, Aiko suspected the latter. Therefore as he ran in this time, she let him past her defences, using the opportunity to slice her blade against his side. He grabbed her forehead, taking her down to the floor, her eyes widening as her chakra began to drain away.

"You can't move," he taunted, letting out a laugh, "and now, you will die."

That was when her sword went through his chest.

"Can't move?" she laughed. "You must be joking. Your ability is nothing compared to the mighty Samehada and, quite conveniently, you were so overconfident you didn't even think to pin down my arms."

She shoved off his body, looking over to where her teammates battled the other guy. Looks like they were in a bind, quite literally, as Tatsuo clutched a broken arm as he rolled around on the ground. Anzu was encased within her opponents body, which was wrapped all around her like rope as he threatened to do the same to her. Aiko lifted her sword, running in when she heard the enemy shinobi cry out and throw himself off her teammate. She looked down at him, blinking when she saw his body was impaled with a large amount of knives so that he resembled a porcupine.

"How did you do that?" Aiko asked the girl.

"I have so many knives hidden away it was inevitable," she sighed as she began to pluck them from her opponent one by one so he bled out and tuck them away once again.

"Scary," she shuddered, looking towards Tatsuo as he whimpered on the ground. "More like a lizard than a dragon, isn't he?"

Aiko sighed as her team-mate refused to show any sign of acknowledgement that she was hilarious, taking her grey shirt off and using it to make a make-shift sling for the little lizard.

"I'm sorry," he cried, his snorts making Aiko screw up her face a little. "We're supposed to protect you a-and…"

"No sweat, you did your best," she smiled, giving him a pat on the back.

"Someone's approaching. It's those guys' teammates. He's with that loud kid," Anzu said in her usual monotone as she jumped from where she was keeping watch in the treetops.

"Great," Aiko said sarcastically. "How are we going to explain this to him."

"How about telling him we killed his teammates and will do the same to him if he retaliates," Anzo dead-panned.

"Err, maybe we'll use that as a back up," Aiko laughed nervously, trying to figure out if the girl was joking or not.

* * *

_A/N: Ahh, sorry I'm late... a cat crossed my path... *stands in the corner in shame*._


	13. Chapter 13 - Jeepers Creepers

**Chapter Thirteen - Jeepers Creepers**

"You're late, Kabuto," Aiko declared, eyeing up the state of Naruto's team under her transformation disguise as Kabuto's teammate.

The Uchiha looked banged up, having to lean on the pink-haired girl. She was so using that against Itachi once she got back.

"We ran into some trouble." Kabuto told them, eyes narrowing. "Sorry."

Aiko and Anzu watched impassively as he said his goodbyes, observing as he went to grab the handle on the door to the tower. Once the other team had passed through, he lowered his hand, turning his head to give the two a murderous look before heading into the trees for them to follow.

"Come now, Kabuto, Leaf your good ol' teammates alone," Aiko joked, wiping a tear from her eye.

"You are not my teammates," he growled.

"Well, duh," she shrugged, releasing the transformation with a 'poof'. "That shady guy was never that funny."

"Where are they?"

"Dead," Anzu revealed, her look malicious as she smiled for the first time.

"So scary," Aiko shuddered, before taking in the blood lust of Kabuto. "Before you do anything, your teammates were the ones who attacked us."

"Orochimaru will not be pleased," Kabuto declared, pushing up his glasses on his nose.

"Just, uh, make sure to tell him your guys attacked _us_, alright?" she laughed nervously, rubbing at the back of her neck.

Aiko watched as Kabuto merely turned to head back to the tower. She panicked, launching herself at his feet and finding herself being dragged across the ground as she clung to his ankles.

"They attacked us! If you kill me, certain people will not, I repeat not, be pleased!"

"I'll tell him," Kabuto growled, flashing her a look filled with the promise of death. "Just let go before I begin playing by your rules and consider your actions an attack on myself."

Wisely, she let go. Watching as he headed back towards the vicinity of the tower, her body tensing when he turned back.

"Oh, before I forget…" he dug around in his pocket, drawing out a heaven and earth scroll, as well as an information card to hand to her.

Aiko looked at the information card, eyebrows lifting as she saw the information gathered on Uzumaki Naruto. His performance was impressive, but that was expected from the cunning fox.

"Ah, thank you," she nodded, pocketing the information card before looking at the two scrolls, "but we don't need these. We have our own set of scrolls."

"You might as well take them. I have no use for them anymore," he declared before walking up to the tower and entering.

Aiko shrugged, turning around to find Anzu had retrieved Tatsuo. With a nod towards each other, they took the next set of doors, walking into an empty room with a scripture on the back wall. A figure was already waiting for them, Aiko sucking in her breath when she realised who it was.

"Orochimaru," she gulped, eyes bulging as she took in his original form.

"My dear student, whatever happened to Orochimaru-sensei," he grinned as he came forward to address them.

"You lost that honour when you betrayed us," she growled, fists clenched as her anger built up, now she was face-to-face with the man that betrayed her organisation.

"So serious," the Sannin taunted, his neck detaching from his head to wind around the space around her body.

Beside her, Tatsuo fainted. Again.

"Could it be you've grown up and now realise when you are outmatched?"

"Maybe right now," she growled, hating to admit it to the traitor, "but I still hold true to my vow that one day you will be dead, and your precious Sword of Kusanagi will be in my hands."

"And what makes you think you will live to see that day?" he breathed into her ear.

"The fact I'm not yet dead."

"I do enjoy it when my students prove to be clever," he smiled, winding his neck back into his head.

"I suppose you're here because Kabuto told you about us killing your subordinates," she prompted, eyes narrowed.

"Not at all," Orochimaru stated. "In fact I'm impressed with how much you've grown."

"I'll be sure to pass that on to okaa-san, she'll be so proud," Aiko dead-panned. "So what do you want?"

"What any good sensei wants," Orochimaru smirked. "A chance to watch my special little student in action."

"Then watch from the audience like everyone else," she muttered.

"However, I do find myself quite inconvenienced since the loss of those subordinates, for you see, they died without carrying out my orders."

"Fine, what do you want us to do?" Aiko huffed, knowing her mission would be compromised if this got out of hand.

"There is a certain genin who I need to be pushed to the edge. I don't care how you do it, draining his chakra, binding him until he can't move, all irrelevant," Orochimaru schemed. "What you need to do is push him until he gives up hope and gives in to a higher power."

"Right…" Aiko sighed, thinking Orochimaru hadn't changed at all, "and who is the lucky bastard who gets to be beaten to a pulp?"

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"So this is what this is about," Aiko yelled, a single finger pointed towards Orochimaru. "You're being a total creeper again!"

"Sad I hurt your precious Itachi-kun?" he taunted smugly.

"Why? He kicked your ass, remember?" she laughed, finding herself being lifted by the neck.

"I expect you all to fight until Uchiha Sasuke snaps, or I imagine you will find yourself with a snapped neck," he threatened, releasing her neck so that she dropped to the floor. "Remember, little Ame genins. I will be watching."

Aiko let out a sigh, turning to Anzu who watched her impassively.

"I bet you're wondering what you did to deserve getting stuck with me as a teammate."

"You are correct," she said in monotone. "What luck."

That has to be sarcasm, right? There was no way she was enjoying herself. Right?

"So what now?"

"The scrolls."

Aiko drew out the two sets of scrolls they had collected, passing a set to Anzu as they opened them both. As two chunin poofed into the room, their eyes widened when they found a sword and a knife pointed at each of their throats.

"Whoops sorry!" Aiko laughed, rubbing the back of her neck and she placed her sword back in its sheath. "That forest sure can put you on edge."

Aiko waited for Anzu to lower her weapon.

"Err, Anzo. Lower the knife please," Aiko sweat-dropped.

"Just a little cut?" the girl drauled, hand twitching as the chunin's eyes bulged.

"No," Aiko sighed, nodding as the girl hid her knives. "So, what can we do for you gentleman?"

XxX

"This exam is… a replacement for war among the allied countries who fought each other over who would rule."

Aiko couldn't help herself from snorting. She did her best to turn it into a cough as she lifted her fist to her mouth, feeling the eyes of the shinobi in the room fixate on her as the Hokage continued to speak. What a joke. No chunin exam was going to stop these guys from starting wars. Once that sack of lies was done with, a really sick shinobi turned up, calling for anyone who wished to forfeit with a cough. Aiko grabbed at Tatsuo's hand as he stepped forward.

"What are you doing?" she hissed at him. "You can't quit."

"Do you wish to forfeit?" Hayate coughed, staring at the boy.

"No," Aiko answered for him.

"That's right!" came the cry of Naruto. "You've come this far, why would you quit now?"

Aiko almost sighed. She had missed that cunning complexity over the past couple of days, but it was nice to once again hear the desire to slaughter as many of them as possible disguised as heartfelt 'encouragement'.

"I-I can't," Tatsuo stammered, his whole body quivering with fear as he clutched his broken arm protectively. "Smart g-ghosts, crazy g-girls, and l-long necks. I f-forfeit."

Aiko winced as the boy walked away, looking as if he had lost his mind. She looked up to where Orochimaru stood, now back in his disguise, his mouth down-turned as Tatsuo left the room.

"He's dead," Anzu almost sang in her monotone voice, making Aiko smack herself in the forehead before dragging her palm down her face.

It seemed there was a slight skirmish between Sasuke and his teammates. Aiko narrowed her eyes observing how his body was already at his limit as he sweated profusely and winced every so often. She supposed she would find out what 'higher power' seemingly caused that once he began to fight. With any luck, she would be the one to face him.

_Uchiha Sasuke_

_VS._

_Anzu_

"Curse you, stupid luck, do you always feel the need to stamp on my will," Aiko cursed, shaking her fist at the sky as everyone looked at her. "Err, I mean, good luck Anzu!"

She laughed nervously as she passed her teammate, following everyone up to the observation platforms.

"No holding back," she muttered behind Anzu. "No playing around. Just get the job done."

The girl just rolled her eyes as Aiko took her place next to their Jonin-sensei.

"Now… please begin."

Anzu drew out her knives, flicking them in Sasuke's direction with ease, which he deflected with a kunai. Immediately the boy was on the floor with a cry of pain, making Aiko wonder what on earth was afflicting him. Anzu took advantage of the situation, leaping forward and raising a knife to stab in his chest only to find it grazing his shoulder as he dodged. Many more knives followed, each missing his body, but soon Sasuke came to realise that despite them missing his body, they still managed to pin him down.

"Water release," Anzu said in monotone, a gleam in her eye. "Grudge Rain Cloud."

"What is it?" Aiko asked their Jonin-sensei. "That technique?"

"It is a variation of a technique called 'Grudge Rain'. Usually a technique requiring more than one shinobi to perform, it generates a rain that causes those within to be drained of chakra. This technique has the same result, but since it can be used by a single person, it has many drawbacks, such as covering a span of a single rain cloud, and requiring the target to remain in place for it to be effective."

"So that's why she pinned him down…" Aiko murmured, watching as Sasuke let out a shout of anguish.

Sasuke tugged his arm with all his strength, ripping his shirt at the arm and yelling as he tore his arm free and used the knife at his side to counter Anzu's follow up to prevent him from escaping. He jumped back once he was free, huffing in exhaustion as he stared at the girl.

"Sasuke! Are you really Uchiha Sasuke? Is that the best you can do?" came Naruto's shout from the audience.

Even Aiko had to admit she expected more from Itachi's otouto. Maybe this is what happened when Uchiha made expressions. They became a bit pitiful.

Anzu seemed to throw enough knives to make the Uchiha into a porcupine, however they didn't land as the Uchiha moved faster than Aiko could follow, finding him unleashing a kick into Anzu's face. Then the boy was at her back as she flew through the air. All of a sudden, his body halted, a mark growing on the boy's neck. Clearly the work of Orochimaru, considering his creepy grin. Then it all changed once more as his face dropped.

Aiko turned back to the fight, finding Sasuke kicking out at Anzu who stabbed him in the leg with another of her knives. Blood was raining down on the ground as they scrapped in the air. Finally, there was a thud as Sasuke pummeled Anzu into the ground, his own body skidding across the floor, dripping with blood and spiked with her many knives. Aiko knew the girl was out before the proctor even announced it, but what was important was the expression of Orochimaru. He seemed happy at the result.

"Figures," Aiko scoffed. "Once a creeper, always a creeper."

And with one final smirk in her direction, he disappeared with a poof.

"Screw you, may you be taken by the shinigami and tortured for all eternity!"

Aiko blinked as all eyes turned at her second outburst of the preliminaries.

"Err…"

"Do not worry, my youthful friend," came the enthusiastic voice of the kid with the impressive eyebrows, "I too grow impatient at having to wait to fight, but know that your time will come."

The boy gave her a thumbs up. She hadn't even noticed the next match had been decided, but she was grateful for any reason to justify her outburst other than 'my old nuke-nin Sensei just left without watching me fight because he's an absolute creeper'.

"You are correct, I'm sure it's only a matter of time," she laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.

* * *

_A/N: Procrastination at its best. Stay safe everyone!_


	14. Chapter 14 - The Power of Youth

**Chapter Fourteen - The Power of Youth**

Aiko was getting twitchy. Despite rather enjoying watching the arms of one of Orochimaru's subordinates be blown off, it didn't quite curb her blood lust for her old sensei.

_Suki_

_VS._

_Kankuro_

"Alright! Did you see that? I said that your time would come and just like that, it came to pass!" the eyebrow boy yelled out with an enthusiastic punch into the air.

"What?" Aiko squinted, trying to figure out what the boy was rambling about.

"It is your turn to fight!"

"No it's not, that's not my name," she scoffed before blinking. "I mean...YES! I pretended not to be Suki, knowing my name would come up if it wasn't me!"

"Genius!" the boy shrieked, clutching his fist. "I will try that technique next time!"

Aiko let out a sigh of relief before jumping over the railing and landing within the arena, feeling all eyes on her. Across the way stood her opponent, the loud-mouth brother of the one tail.

"Geez, trust my luck to be fighting some kid," Kankuro whined, a confident grin on his face as he leaned on his bundle of rags.

"Well maybe if you'd been skilled enough to enter the exams earlier everyone wouldn't be so much younger than you," Aiko taunted with a roll of her eyes.

"You'd be wise not to tick me off, little girl, or you might end up getting hurt."

"Pur-lease, the only little girl around here is the person who looks like they've been messing around in their mother's makeup," she spluttered, pointing at his face.

Aiko looked pleased with herself as Naruto began to laugh, clutching his stomach all the while. Sounds about right. A demon enjoying the roasting of others. Both metaphorically and literally.

"We will now begin the third match," Hayate announced, signalling their start.

Aiko charged in, drawing her sword as Kankuro lurched forward himself. His arm targeted her body which she sidestepped, cutting her sword across his side. As she passed him, she twirled on the spot, slicing Kankuro's hand off from the back, causing him to collapse forward. Her eyes narrowed on his fallen form as she leaned in for a closer look. Two extra arms burst from his fallen body. She kicked back just in time, letting out a breathy laugh.

"You might have been better off playing dead, little girl," she smirked, watching as his form used its newly spawned hands to push himself off the ground, "because you have made three grevious mistakes when fighting me. Number one being that your additional limbs don't bleed."

Kakuro turned to smirk at her, lifting himself up to take a fighting stance, his new digits shrugging.

"So, you worked it out. You didn't get my real arms. I'm impressed," he grinned as he leapt forward to attack her again, all three remaining limbs outstretched.

Aiko flew through the dragon, tiger and hare signs, puffing her cheeks as she spouted a geyser of water, eyes glittering as he dodged out of the way, throwing his arms back as he ran in a semi-circle to work his way back to her.

"Mistake number two was not being fast enough to catch me when you had the chance, ultimately due to mistake number one."

"And mistake number three?" Kankuro asked, wrapping himself around the girl's form, the mechanism of his puppet finally revealing itself to her as it shot a giant poisoned needle into her face.

"Leaving your real body wide open to attack."

Kankuro's eyes bulged as the girl sat on top of his bundle of rags where his real body remained concealed, directing the point of her sword into it. The body his puppet had been attacking had turned into a puddle of water.

"Winner, Suki!"

"Not that I'm not happy with the result," Naruto gawped, watching as the girl stood up and began dancing in victory, "but why did Suki win, Kakashi-sensei? Kankuro was still standing."

"Look over there, Naruto," Kakashi pointed out, indicating the pile of rags Aiko had pointed her sword at.

Kankuro emerged from within, his displeasure evident at having lost the match.

"No way," Kankuro raged at his opponent. "There was no way you had it figured out from the beginning."

"Don't get so angry, little girl," Aiko grinned. "From the moment my blade sliced off the arm of your puppet, I knew exactly what was going on, and not just because of the lack of blood. I've decapitated enough puppets within my lifetime to know exactly what it feels like."

"He was using puppet no jutsu, isn't that right, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked Kakashi.

"Puppet no jutsu?" Naruto whined with a frown. "Well that's even more impressive, right Kakashi-sensei? Even when it was 2-on-1 Suki kicked his ass!"

"It was a well thought out strategy making it look like she was targeting him with the water, when she was just setting the environment to favour the creation of a water clone," Kakashi concluded, looking towards the girl lazily.

"There's just no way," Kankuro repeated, dumb-founded.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, be proud of our battle and..." Aiko smiled as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, bringing out the puppet's severed arm, "give yourself a hand!"

Kankuro swiped the puppet's detached limb from her grasp as she clutched her stomach with laughter.

"Please clear the arena for the fourth match," Hayate coughed, looking towards the girl as she began rolling around the floor in laughter. "Now, please."

"Ok, ok, I'm going," she sighed, rubbing the tears from her eyes as they danced with amusement. "No need to string me up."

XxX

She had a month. There was no time for slacking off...

Aiko clutched her stomach as Naruto fell back into the hot spring for the third time, emerging as red as a beet to discover his new sensei had been beaten to the curb. Sure he was proberly just acting like he was incompetent, but that didn't stop it from being any less funny.

"Huh… a frog?" she blinked, looking at the man who had taken out the Sensei with the dark sunglasses.

"Thanks for asking," the man cried out when Naruto demanded his name. "Mt. Myokougama's holy Master Sannin, also known as the Toad Sannin. Remember it!"

Aiko's eyes grew white and slanted as she overheard the Sannin explain the nature of this work.

"Figures," Aiko muttered to herself. "Turns out all Sannin are creepers."

She was busy trying to stab out her eyes when Naruto unleashed his Harem no Jutsu - a jutsu she highly suspected was devised to lure unsuspecting victims and insult many others.

Seriously, she couldn't figure out what was worse; a Snake Sannin who was a child snatcher or a Toad Sannin who was a super pervert. Trying to clear her mind of unsanitary thoughts, Aiko turned her attention back to Naruto's training, blushing slightly when he began to remove his clothes. Her eyes trained on his stomach, narrowing at what was evidently his seal.

"Looks like I'm not the only one popular with the ladies."

Aiko squeaked when she found the Sannin was right behind her, looking at her with his arms crossed and an easy smile on his face.

"Huh?" Naruto frowned, looking over to see Aiko hiding in the bushes. "Hey, Suki! What are you doing here? Are you training for the Chunin exams too?"

"That's right. It's a lot easier to try new water release techniques when you're next to a water source, such as these hot springs," Aiko nodded, sounding as stale as if she were giving a presentation and indicating the springs with a flourish.

"Is it also easier to perform water techniques when you're in a bush?" the Toad Sannin teased, causing her to puff out her cheeks. "Either way, if you're both taking part you should keep your techniques a secret."

"Well, theoretically we wouldn't be fighting each other unless we both reach the final match," Aiko shrugged.

"Then you better get out of here, Suki," Naruto grinned, causing her eyes to narrow at such a blatant threat, "cus if there is one thing I know, it's that I'm going to be the one to make that final. Believe it."

Aiko's eyes narrowed, taking that as a personal challenge. There was no way this deceptive demon would be able to fool her, unlike the idiot Sannin that probably didn't realise he was nodding his approval at the fox declaring death to all in the final.

"I'll hold you to that promise, Naruto," Aiko smiled, her own blue eyes glinting, "because I would quite like to fight you myself."

_Fight you, expose you… crush you._

"Alright then," Jiraiya clapped, drawing the genin's attention back to him. "Time to leave."

Aiko gave them a false smile and an enthusiastic wave as she headed off, trying her luck as she hid herself in a corner, only to look back and see the Toad Sannin still staring at her, arms crossed. With a final sigh, she resigned herself to going to watch Gaara.

"Naruto, let me give you some advice," Jiraiya began, eyes pinned on where the Ame genin had disappeared. "That girl is going to be a beauty when she's older. I'd take advantage of her interest while you can."

"Yeah, right," Naruto muttered under his breath, "like I'd take the advice of an Ero-Sannin."

That was when Jiraiya chose to 'help' Naruto by jabbing his fingertips into his stomach, thereby removing the five part seal.

XxX

"Wake up, youthful one!"

Aiko let out a shriek, her instincts kicking in as she waved her sword wildly out in front of her. The strange thing was that even as she waved her sword back and forth, the man in a bright green jumpsuit seemed to dodge every swipe, his body curling like a crescent moon.

"So fast…" she gaped, mouth wide open as she looked to the grinning man before her.

"Truly your swordsmanship is impressive," the man beamed, giving her a thumbs up, "but you should know when your body needs rest so that you don't collapse outside again."

Aiko blinked at the man, realising she was indeed standing on a bench in the middle of Konohagakure. Evidently she had fallen asleep tailing Gaara. She shook her head, wondering if that boy ever slept. Maybe he stole the vitality from the blood of his enemies. It would at least explain the obsession with blood.

"I apologise, Jonin-san," she said with a bow. "Evidently I was being reckless."

"The name is Gai," the jonin introduced himself, flashing her a twinkling smile.

She snorted, "what a guy, eh?"

Gai blinked at her before letting out a deep-belly laugh and slapping her on the back so hard that the bench collapsed beneath her and she ended up in a heap on the ground, eyes swirling amongst the wood.

"Ah, it seems I was too enthusiastic," Gai admitted, watching as the girl began swatting at the imaginary paper birds circling around her head. "Don't worry, young one! I shall get you to the hospital immediately!"

Aiko found herself sitting on the shoulders of Gai, the scenery of Konohagakure zooming past her as he ran. Her head lolled up and down, her cheeks puffing out in queasiness as she slammed her hand to her mouth.

"Please stop, Gai," Aiko begged the Jonin once she had been shook to her senses. "I think I'm going to throw up."

The Jonin came to an abrupt stop, Aiko emptying her stomach in the nearby bushes whilst Gai patted her on the back.

"Forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine."

Aiko wiped a sleeve across her mouth, turning around to see Lee collapse on the ground.

"Excuse me," cried the nurse who was checking him over. "Can you please watch over him? I need to get a stretcher."

"No need," Gai sighed, picking up the boy in his arms with great care.

Once Aiko had gotten over the surprise that they had already arrived at the hospital, she followed Gai with curiosity. He cradled the boy in his arms, placing him back into a hospital bed and drawing the sheets around him.

"He fought well," Aiko commented.

It was the truth. Aiko had thought his match against Gaara would follow the typical pattern and bore her to death, but the boy matched the one-tail admirably. It was a testament to his strength that he was still alive, even if it had been due to the Jonin's intervention.

"He can never be a shinobi again," Gai told her, his eyes trained on his broken student.

Aiko dropped her eyes. She couldn't imagine a worse fate. Even death seemed kinder than to leave you unable to do anything in this cruel world. Truly, the wrath of the monsters that were tailed beasts were a force that could not be left unchecked. The sooner Akatsuki took control, the better.

"I apologise," she murmured, drawing Gai's attention. "It's too late for Lee, but maybe, someday soon, I can prevent this from happening to someone else."

The Jonin blinked at her, his eyes welling up before he erupted like a volcano, spilling tears like a river as he embraced her.

"To think that you would fight for my student even though he is not one of your own," he cried, almost breaking her back with his hug before pulling her back to look at her face. "Then it is decided. I will train you."

"Eh?" she winced, wondering what sort of genjutsu she was trapped in to see a shining sun behind the passionate Jonin. "You can't do that. I'm from Amegakure, not Konohagakure. Your own student is fighting in this tournament!"

"My student does not need my help. He has made that very clear, however I believe you may be right about our villages…" he narrowed his eyes, his focus making the girl sweat-drop when he flashed her a winning smile. "I have an idea!"

_One costume change later..._

"Err… Gai? Am I supposed to be that lazy looking Jonin of Naruto's?" Aiko questioned, taking in the black sweats she had pulled on over her clothes, overlayed with a green flak-jacket, a black mask to cover the lower half of her face, a Leaf hitai-ate over one eye and a spiky silver wig.

"Exactly! Me and Kakashi are eternal rivals, therefore no one will suspect any difference when they see us spar!" the man shouted with eager enthusiasm with a clench of his fists.

"I think they're going to notice," Aiko sweat-dropped considering she was much shorter than the Jonin in question, "and why do you even have this stuff on you?"

"Come, my rival!" Gai grinned, completely ignoring her question. "Let us begin by scaling the Hokage monument, crossing the Naka River, and taking down fifty trees with our youthful strength!"

"Well," she shrugged, "I guess that wouldn't be too bad…"

"All without chakra!"

"WHAT?"

"Then once we are warmed up, we shall spar!"

Aiko barely had the time to mouth 'warmed up' before Gai dashed off, making sure to grab the arm of his 'eternal rival', her body flapping like a flag in the wind as he jumped out of the hospital window.

* * *

_A/N: I finished! I realise I posted this saying it was complete, but well, edits needed to be made, so (for real this time) I finished! Then... I started writing part II *sweat drop*. Judging the tone for part II is really interesting at the moment. Obviously making up situations that make me want to giggle is the main goal, but it's kind of weird that I'm writing a comedy when everyone is destined to die... Whelp, I'm sure it'll work out. Let the madness ensue!_


	15. Chapter 15 - All Bugged Out

**Chapter Fifteen - All Bugged Out**

Aiko dashed out of the hospital bed, looking left and right for the person she had deemed the true monster of Konohagakure. Ripping off her disguise, she collapsed against the wall, her whole body screaming with exhaustion. She held her breath, almost sensing the beast was near, but she knew there was nothing she could do. He always found her. Always.

"Most youthful child, by any chance have you seen the Jonin known as Hatake Kakashi around here?"

"No!" Aiko half-yelled at him, knowing that it was hopeless.

"Hmm… there is something about you," Gai murmured, rubbing his chin as he leaned forward to take in her face. "Something most… familiar."

She knew he was taunting her. Any moment now, he would call for a hundred push ups, five hundred laps, or perhaps the worst… a spar.

"I must have asked you before," he grinned, giving her a thumbs up. "Thanks for your help, Konohagakure citizen!"

Aiko blinked at him as he ran off. There was no way he didn't recognise her without her disguise or Ame headband. Her left eye twitched, laughter creeping out her mouth as she rocked back and forth. He didn't recognise her without a headband. It had been that simple this entire time. Brushing herself off, Aiko declared she would never speak of this past month ever again. Whistling, she turned into Lee's room, taking in the stoic faces of Naruto and Shikamaru.

"Yo!" she greeted them, her eyes widening as she realised her hand had shot up in what was supposedly Kakashi's typical greeting.

She clamped her hand on her mouth. She hadn't even met the guy and yet she had picked up his apparent mannerisms. Guess that's what you get for posing as someone for almost a month.

"Oh, hey Suki," Naruto greeted her half-heartedly.

"Why so down, Naruto?" Aiko inquired, letting out an 'eep' as she pulled her hands from her pockets, having found them sliding into them as her body relaxed into a lazy slouch. "The finals are tomorrow. Aren't you excited?"

"I guess," the boy shrugged.

Aiko frowned. Was it another deception? Was he acting like he wasn't looking forward to a massacre?

"We just had a run in with Gaara," Shikamaru inputted in response to her questioning look.

Ahh. So that was it. The nine tails was obviously upset with his counterpart who had no finesse when it came to the killing arts. She nodded in understanding, having found his technique rather dull to watch herself.

"Don't let him get to you," Aiko told him, eyes hardened. "You told me that you wanted to meet me in that final, Naruto. Don't disappoint me now."

Their blue eyes locked on each other, Aiko's mouth tilting upwards as the fox acknowledged her challenge and began to smile, a steel determination in his eyes that she was sure was the promise of a glorious death.

"That's more like it," she muttered lowly, accepting the challenge from the beast.

"Good luck, Suki."

"Yeah," Aiko murmured, one hand resting on the doorway. "Good luck to you too."

_You'll be needing it_, she thought as she slipped out the door.

XxX

"You should heed my warning, Suki. Why?" Shino began. "Because you are at a severe disadvantage, just like a pond-skater without a water source."

"Wooooo!" Aiko cheered, grinning as she entered the arena, lifting her arms to egg the audience on. "Let me hear you; Su-ki, Su-ki, Su-ki."

Shino watched stoically as she punched a fist into the air.

"Isn't this great, bug boy?" she grinned, finally acknowledging him. "I have to admit, Konohogakure sure knows how to put together a tournament!"

"My name is not bug boy."

"No?" she grinned. "How about fly-guy?"

"No."

"Buzzy-wuzz?" Aiko stared at her opponent, her grin faltering as she let out a huff at his stoic silence. "Looks like pond-skater is the best trash talk I'm going to get. Well then, shall we?"

"Aburame Shino vs. Suki of Amegakure, begin!" called the proctor, Genma, with a wave of his arms.

Aiko furrowed her eyebrows as Shino arms began to crawl with singular bugs that soon became a swarm. They raced forward to meet her, only to meet a shuriken, a paper tag folded around it, which proceeded to explode mid air. Her jaw clenched as the bugs reformed, coming from behind and once again facing her explosive shuriken.

"You are overwhelmed by my bugs," came his monotone from behind.

She reacted by slashing her sword into his body, which only dispersed into a swarm. At that moment, both the swarms from in front and behind began to attack her. Her hands formed three signs as quick as she could manage, her neck stretching upward as she released a torrent of water, watching it fall on her form in a healthy drizzle. Aiko sucked in her breath, relieved she had managed to make it just in time.

"You're not an opponent suited to my fighting style," she admitted, watching as his body reformed at a distance, "but if there is one thing I know about bugs, it's that they don't come out in the rain."

"Then it seems that this will be a battle of stamina," Shino declared.

"Unfortunately so," she sighed.

Aiko lurched forward, leaving a trail of paper bombs behind her like breadcrumbs, exploding them as she swiped at Shino with her sword. He jumped back, running up the wall with chakra coated feet before blasting off, landing behind her at a crouch. She grinned, exploding the remaining paper bombs. However, her smile soon dropped as he emerged, the sleeve of his jacket burnt and his arm red with blisters, but otherwise unharmed.

"I survived your explosion. Why? Because your tactics were expected."

It was then that Aiko threw a smoke bomb, concealing herself within the smoke as she allowed herself a brief reprieve. However, it was short-lived as the bugs surrounded her anyway, resulting in her using another water jutsu to prevent the bugs from draining her chakra. She squinted at Shino, one eye closed as she tried to catch her breath.

The bugs pressed on, twirling around the now expected shuriken explosions. She let out a breath of irritation, drawing them closer before she kicked off the ground and released another smoke bomb. Several explosions rang out across the arena, causing the smoke to light up in flashes before revealing to the audience that the bugs had swarmed upon a single spot en masse, the audience squinting to see an Ame hitai-ate disappearing into the swarm.

The spot exploded and Aiko jumped from the still clearing smoke, a final water jutsu enveloping Shino and his remaining bugs. Shino fell to the ground and Aiko lifted up her sword, ready to plunge it in his chest before it was knocked from her hand.

"Senbon?" Aiko panted, looking down at her opponent with confusion.

"Winner: Suki!" the proctor announced, turning to the girl who was half collapsed over the Abarame's body. "He's out of chakra. If your sword had landed, he would have died."

Aiko nodded, looking down at her opponent to see his cheeks had taken on a pink hue. Noticing her position, she scrambled to remove herself from the boy, trying to look dignified as she stood up, presenting herself to the arena in nothing but a vest top and her underwear.

"Look away you perverts!" she yelled at the audience, her cheeks becoming scarlet as most of the male population of the audience suddenly became interested in their shoes.

Well, most of them. One Inuzuka Kiba shoved his fingers in his mouth to let out a wolf whistle, earning himself the attention of an angry kunoichi who slapped him silly. She looked up as Genma handed over her pile of clothes, which he had collected from where the bugs had last swarmed en masse. She muttered a 'thank you' before rushing to pull on her trousers, falling flat on her face as she tripped over their fabric as it caught around her legs.

"Did you see the bug on your hitai-ate?" came Shino's voice as he lay on the ground.

She sighed.

"All I knew was that you could locate me and you used bugs. It didn't take much to put the two together," she informed him, hating to admit this was more of a tricky match than it should have been. "My last move was a calculated risk depending on whether the bug was on my clothes or my skin."

She shrugged.

"I see."

"Thank you for the match, Abarame Shino," she acknowledged, pulling on her shirt. "It will be one I'm unlikely to forget."

"For me as well," Shino muttered, his cheeks still pink.

Now fully dressed, complete with Ame hitai-ate, Aiko made her way back to the competitor box, glaring at Shikamaru, almost daring him to say something.

"Troublesome," was all he murmured, turning his head away.

Then she blinked, realising a certain demonic mastermind was missing.

"Don't worry," Temari smirked. "I think the kunoichi in the audience got all of the peeping toms, including this one."

Aiko looked down at Naruto, his cheek bright red from a slap the Sand kunoichi must have delivered to him, then back to Terami. She had survived a long time with Gaara and now had the fox in hand. A talented kunoichi to be sure.

"Hey, I'm no pervert!" the boy complained, rubbing his cheek as the kunoichi lifted her foot to free him.

Aiko resisted the urge to huff, wishing she could erase the Harem no Jutsu from her mind.

"Thank you," Aiko nodded, watching as the kunoichi unfolded her fan and used it to enter the arena for the next match.

"Alright, Shikamaru!" Naruto cheered, pushing the boy over the railings. "Go for it."

Aiko laughed, finding herself in brighter spirits as Shikamaru frowned up at them from the arena, Naruto shouting his support for their deaths from the box.

"So peeping, huh?" Aiko glared, having thought the fox could do no worse.

"I wasn't peeping! I was just wondering why your boxers had lace!"

Aiko's eyebrow twitched, great fireballs appearing within her eyes as she punched him in the head, watching gleefully as he fell to the ground with swirling eyes.

"Good luck, Temari," she called out, sitting herself down on the boy's body, finding him an adequate seat to enjoy the next match from.

XxX

Aiko's eyes blinked as feathers floated before her eyes.

"Kai!" she cried, countering the genjutsu.

She almost wished she hadn't as she began to realise the extent of the chaos that enfolded before her eyes. There was a huge explosion from the Kage box, massive white snakes appearing from beyond the arena, all whilst hordes of Sand and Sound shinobi flooded the place. She had found herself in the middle of a war, none of which the sides battling were her own. Hands shaking, she drew out a piece of paper, scribbling the word 'help' on it before moulding it with her chakra into a butterfly and watching it fly away.

From there, her plan was simple: stay alive. Aiko turned towards Naruto's sleeping form with a frown, poking his cheek as she admired his dedication to deception. She would have thought he would prefer to watch a war, most likely wanting a front row seat before wiping out the victors like the demon he was. Yet here he was, pretending to sleep like a baby and murmuring about noodles. Aiko loomed over him, poking at his whiskered cheeks. They really were terribly adorable. Next, she swung back her foot, kicking him in the side with a chakra fueled foot, causing him to lurch upright.

"MISO-PORK-SHIO," he screamed, looking around in a daze before settling on Aiko and rubbing his eyes. "Wha- what happened, Suki?"

"War," she replied, her voice empty as she stared into the widening blue eyes of the demon fox.

"**OWWWW**."

Aiko lifted an eyebrow as Shikamaru shrieked, finding Naruto's pink-haired teammate had joined them, her face a vision of anger as she accused Shikamaru of 'playing possum'. Slowly, her eyes passed over the pinkette before resting on…

"Sooo cute!" Aiko squealed, her eyes sparkling as she dove to the floor to scratch the pug under the chin before slapping away Shikamaru's hand, who was most likely seeking payback for the bite marks on his leg.

"Cute?" Shikamaru scoffed, his eyebrows downturned as he scowled at the dog. "That dog is going to get me killed. Who cares about Sasuke?"

Aiko grinned, watching as the cute doggy snapped at the boy's hand, her sword lashing out as she sensed an incoming threat, making the pinkette shriek. Her sword cut through his chest, blood spurting from the wound as the enemy shinobi fell to the ground.

"Suki," Naruto breathed, looking towards the girl who was omitting a dark aura towards the Sound shinobi. "You sav-"

"Are you okay, cute doggy?" she interrupted, turning to Pakkun as Naruto sweat-dropped.

Behind her, the Sound shinobi jumped back up, finding his body pummelled into the back wall courtesy of Maito Gai, the wall collapsing through at the furiously of his single punch.

"My most youthful stud- err, I mean, Chunin exam participant who I have never trained!" Gai yelled, flashing her a twinkling smile, thumbs up and (just to top it off) a not-so-secretive wink.

Behind him, Kakashi appeared holding a kunai in his hand, looking towards the group as he relayed his orders to retrieve Sasuke.

"Ugh, why me?" Shikamaru muttered to himself, following Naruto, the pinkette and the cute doggy out the hole in the wall.

Aiko couldn't help but agree, sweat dropping as she shifted away from Gai to follow them, finding her path blocked by Kakashi's outstretched arm.

"Not so fast," Gai warned, giving her a serious look. "You are under Konohagakure's protection, therefore we can not risk you getting killed out there."

Before she even had a chance to protest, a Sand shinobi threw himself at her, only to find himself launched across the arena by Gai's kick. From behind Gai a kunai twinkled, Aiko launching herself at the Jonin's back to deflect it with a swipe of her sword. She wished that was it, but the war was only beginning. She found herself swiping at the flesh of both Sand and Sound shinobi left and right, picking off what Gai deemed her good enough to handle.

Her next opponent wore a mask, one she knew to be one of Konohagakure's ANBU, but right now they weren't to be trusted. Gai launched himself in front of her, using himself as a shield, arms outstretched before they dropped to his side, his whole body going slack. She lifted her sword, finding it knocked from her hand with ease. Her adrenaline surged, paper peeling from her hands as she sent it forth towards the ANBU. However, the girl's body soon collapsed under his gaze, allowing the ANBU to pick up the Ame genin and run from the arena, her body thrown over his shoulder.

* * *

_A/N: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN! So, who do you think kidnapped Aiko? Who was behind the mask? Find out next week on Akatsuki's Child! *snorts*_

_I also just realised this story has 99 followers... that's so exciting! Thank you!_


	16. Chapter 16 - Monsters

**Chapter Sixteen - Monsters**

"Itachi, you scared me to death! I thought I was being kidnapped and taken to Orochimaru!" Aiko yelled, crossing her arms as she glared at the Uchiha.

"This is not the time," the Uchiha scolded her, sharingan shining in his eyes. "We must escape whilst the Village is busy with the invasion."

Aiko's eyes widened as a violent wind swept through the treetops they were concealing themselves within. Several trees crashed in the distance, fallen by whatever battle was currently taking place, much too close for comfort.

"What is that?" she demanded, looking to Itachi for answers.

"The one tail has been unleashed. It appears that Uzumaki Naruto is fighting him," Itachi informed her, jumping after her as she began jumping through the treetops towards the fight. "What are you doing?"

"It's still my mission to gather information on them. This could be my last chance!" she cried, halting as Gaara's one tail form came into view.

Naruto was on a tree branch, his body covered in injuries as he stood with Sasuke at his side. His eyes grew fierce as he looked towards the one tail, gathering an insane amount of chakra, so much so that it was visible to her eyes.

"This… this chakra," Aiko gasped, feeling suffocated in the malicious chakra that produced an inconceivable number of kage bunshin.

All this time she had been reminding herself that the boy with the whiskered cheeks was a devil-in-disguise, but now there was no doubt. Aiko watched Naruto's onslaught, shielding her eyes as a giant wind made her stab a kunai into the tree to keep her in place. Right in front of her stood the one tail in its complete and final form. Meeting it was a boss level summon. Aiko could hardly believe her eyes, finding them narrowing as she thought of that malicious-natured chakra. Before she knew it, the source of that chakra was in front of her, the nine-tailed fox making its appearance. Then, once more, the chakra enveloped Naruto. Aiko could only watch as two beasts clashed, their bodies falling with the sand as the form of the one-tail fell, Naruto delivering the final blow to his opponent.

"Aiko, either we leave now, or I will not hesitate to knock you out and carry you away," Itachi warned, eyes fixed on the aftermath of the battle, sure it would bring shinobi running.

"I know. Let's go," she agreed.

Itachi flicked his eyes to her, finding her complacency suspicious. However, one look was able to tell him she would follow him willingly. With a nod, the two Akatsuki members dashed off, heading away from the half-destroyed Village that was Konohagakure.

XxX

Aiko sat on the roof of the motel they were staying at, blank-faced as she rested her head on her knee.

"Fancy a spar?" Kisame grinned, lifting Samehada with enthusiasm.

"I can't," Aiko sighed, thinking a spar was exactly what she needed. "Itachi knocked my sword from my hand when he kidnapped me and we both know how a spar between my chakra-crafted paper sword turns out when you use Samehada."

"I knew I was missing something when he told me to come out here," Kisame grumbled, placing his sword on his back and opting to sit down.

"What are you doing?" Aiko questioned, watching as the shark began to look slightly uncomfortable.

"Well, we can't spar… so…"

"What?" Aiko snorted. "Are you going to give me a pep-talk?"

"How about you talk, I listen," the shark grumbled, flashing his sharp teeth in warning.

Aiko just rolled her eyes.

"You know how they call you a tailed beast, but without the tail?"

"What, you're talking to me now?" Kisame joked, enjoying her silent promise of death."Yeah, what of it?"

"Why do they call you that?"

"Well for starters my chakra reserves could rival one of them, combine that with my ability to fuse with Samehada, who in itself is a sentient being that stores chakra and you've got a whole lot of similarities," Kisame pointed out, wondering where this was going.

"But Samehada couldn't really act on its own will could it? The sword is incomplete without a swordsman," she asked, eyeing him up as she waited for his answer.

"What is this really about, kid?" Kisame's eyes narrowed, not one for beating around the bush.

"Uzumaki Naruto," she declared, eyes narrowed.

"I see…"

"You do?"

"You're growing up, you're releasing… certain chemicals," the shark stated awkwardly.

"Chemicals?" Aiko frowned. "I don't think…"

"Those chemicals mean you attract a mate."

"Oh, my Kami."

"And that nine tails is definitely strong so I'm sure you'd consider him as adequate."

"Oh, my Kami, please stop."

"Of course, some sharks have more than one mate…"

"Oh Kami, please stop before I decide to impale myself on Samehada," Aiko shouted, jamming her hands over her ears. "I am not crushing on the nine tails jinchuriki!"

"Then what's the problem?" Kisame growled, his face turning slightly purple.

"He got to me, okay!" she shouted back. "Gaara was blood thirsty! Gaara would trap people in sand and crush them to death, but Naruto… curse that demon-fox! That enthusiastic kid act is _convincing_."

"That's because it's not an act," Kisame explained. "He is a kid, but he's a tailed beast too, and once the beast breaks free, there will be no reasoning with it."

And that chakra… Aiko flashed back to the molevelant chakra that enveloped Naruto, fuelling him with rage and anger, only a slither of what the true beast was capable of. It was all the reminder she needed to realise that the beast called for blood, and would destroy the world in an instant if it could.

"I was starting to question oji-san when I met Naruto. I couldn't see how he could be a threat to the world, but I was wrong. Once that chakra takes control he could even defeat Gaara."

Aiko had to clench her fist, hiding the fact that it was shaking slightly.

"Then it's a good thing we'll be collecting them up, right?" Kisame smirked, shaking his head at his student's theatrics.

"But how? That power…"

"We've got our own power. It's them who should be afraid of us," Kisame told her. "Got it?"

"Right," she smiled, her grin widening as the tension in the air lifted. "So… sharks, huh?"

"Shut it, kid," Kisame snapped, his skin turning purple again.

"What? You don't want to finish the birds and the bees? What's the shark version? The octopi and the squids?" she giggled, clutching her stomach.

"How about my sword in your face," Kisame blinked, his whole body turning bright purple as an expression of pure horror crossed his face.

"Kisame? Are you okay?" Aiko panicked, wondering if it was healthy for a shark to turn that colour.

"Never again," the shark murmured.

"What?"

"We will never speak of this. Ever. Again."

Aiko gulped, squeaking out a quick 'yes' before the shark left the roof. Kisame just thanked Kami that the girl hadn't yet lost enough innocence to understand the concept of an innuendo.

XxX

_The Power of Youth continued… Being Kakashi Hatake_

"Gai… people are staring," Aiko whispered, looking at the jonin with her one uncovered eye as they walked through Konohagakure.

Aiko let out a yelp as she was pulled into a side alley, caught unaware. She really didn't have a clue how Naruto's Jonin-sensei saw anything with only half of his vision.

"I've been most foolish," Gai sighed, his eyes welling up with tears. "Please forgive me my student for I have failed you in the art of disguise!"

Aiko panicked as the grown man began to cry. She patted him on the back, finding herself locked in his embrace.

"Too tight!" she gasped, feeling relieved as he released her to give her a bleary-eyed thumbs up.

"Now listen closely for I am about to give you all the information you need to know to be Hatake Kakashi."

Aiko blinked, finding herself standing in front of a presentation board with an array of photos of Kakashi in front of her.

"Kakashi is a cool guy." Gai began pointing to a picture of the Jonin leaning against a tree trunk, a book in his hands.

"Err, Gai? Is he reading…" Aiko quickly cut off as Gai slammed a hand to her mouth.

"A cool guy," he continued as if nothing had happened. "As expected of someone chosen to be my eternal rival."

Guy then proceeded to explain the mannerisms of the Jonin, Aiko's eyes growing white and slanted with every detail.

"So… he's emotionally stunted, always late, acts as if he can't hear you, comes out with ridiculous excuses and is an outright pervert," Aiko concluded.

"Very much a cool guy," Gai winked, giving her a thumbs up as she face-palmed. "Now, time to put what you've learnt to the test!"

Aiko found herself shoved back on to the streets of Konohagakure. With a deep breath, she tucked her hands in her pockets, leaning back as she strolled through the Village. She followed Gai's directions, jumping on the roof of a tall building and ducking through the window.

"Yo!" she greeted, holding up a palm to the room.

It was then that she realised she was in a meeting between several high ranking Jonin and the Hokage himself. Internally, Aiko sweat-dropped, finding all eyes focussed on her.

"You're late, Kakashi," Gai grinned, causing all eyes to be drawn to him.

They were probably wondering if he'd lost it - if he could lose it more than he already had.

"Well, there was this kid who got stuck in a tree," she attempted as one of the Jonin let out a snort.

"Then by all means," the Hokage announced, eyes twinkling. "Why don't you come join us?"

Aiko looked towards the room that might as well have been full of vipers.

"Mm… no. I'd best be getting back to Sasuke," Aiko shrugged, turning to leave when she found her exit cut off by ANBU.

With a whimper, Aiko jumped into the room, slouching into place next to Gai before sighing and drawing out the censored version of Icha Icha (censored being about 90% of the content blacked out by Gai). She used the book as a shield between herself and her enemies.

"Kakashi, since you have so much free time on your hands I have a mission for you."

Aiko could only think what terror the Hokage would put her through after this.

"With so many of our genin participating in the Chunin exams we have an excess amount of D-ranks stacking up. I'm sure a Jonin of your capability could deal with them adequately and take the pressure off for us," the Hokage informed her as he sucked on his pipe with a faint smile on his lips.

"I don't think…"

"A most youthful idea!" Gai nodded, his fist catching fire as he held it out. "I too will help Kakashi with this important task."

Aiko sweat-dropped. She shifted on her feet, giving Gai a blank stare.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" she said in her best monotone to honour Itachi.

"So cool!" Gai shrieked.

"Guess I better head out then," she drauled, dramatically throwing up a handful of leaves as she shushinned away.

"Wait for me, my eternal rival!" Gai yelled, following after her.

The room was left in silence as the Jonin turned back to their Hokage.

"Is this really okay, Hokage-sama?" Genma questioned, his senbon flicking from one side to another in his mouth.

"I see no problems with Hatake undertaking our D-ranks during this period," the Hokage acknowledged.

"Of course, Hokage-sama," the Jonin chorused, each of them sweat-dropping as the poor Ame genin was used as free labour and would probably end up spending the Chunin exams in the hospital, courtesy of Maito Gai.

* * *

_A/N: Well that was anti-climatic, am-I-right? I'm very surprised all responses thought Danzo had gotten her! So the chapter after this is the last I've written in terms of Part I. I have actually started Part II, but obviously there is a lot of content to cover. All I can say is, it's darker but still (hopefully) funny - you know, until everyone dies._


	17. Chapter 17 - To Outwit a Fox

**Chapter Seventeen - To Outwit a Fox**

Aiko slumped back into the curve of the boulder, letting out a 'chuh' as she eavesdropped on Kisame and Itachi's discussion. They had scouted Konohagakure without her, claiming that she would get in their way. However, she was of the opinion that if they had let _her_ approach Naruto, they would have already succeeded in their mission's objective. Now they had to figure out how to overcome the strength of a Sannin.

"It's said that every strong man has a weakness."

"You mean the whole pervert thing, right?" she drauled, one foot swinging back and forth.

"What would you know about it?" Kisame questioned, one eyebrow lifting up into his hitai-ate as he turned to consider her.

"I have met the guy. In fact, Naruto was able to convince him to be his sensei by using his 'Harem no Jutsu'," she explained, letting out a 'bleh' noise as she scrunched up her face and stuck out her tongue.

"Harem no jutsu?" Kisame parroted, letting out a breath of laughter before turning to Itachi. "So that's your plan? I always thought you'd make a pretty girl, Itachi-chan."

"Enough. We have to remain focussed if we wish to succeed in our objective," Itachi murmured, staring pensively into the distance.

"Right," Aiko nodded, pushing a palm against the boulder to stand, feeling the wind tousle her lavender hair as she tightened the knot of her Ame hitai-ate, now bearing the signature scratch of a nuke-nin, "but you two have had your chance. This time I'm going to be the one to retrieve the fox."

XxX

The door to the hotel room creaked open, causing Naruto to blink as he took in the sight of his fellow Chunin exam participant, the corners of her mouth twitching as she swept a stray strand of lavender behind her ear.

"Suki!" the boy exclaimed, jumping forward to latch himself around her shoulders, oblivious to the widening of her blue eyes. "I _knew_ you were okay! I told Kakashi-sensei that there was no way you would let yourself be killed by a bunch of idiots who thought they could take us on! What happened to you? Why are you dressed all funny?"

Naruto rambled on, blinking at the red clouds that emblazoned the girl's black cloak, its high collar obscuring her neck.

"Oh, this?" she said, looking down at her cloak, whilst holding out her arms for him to admire. "This is just a new look I'm trying, and in regards to the invasion, I was removed from the situation by Konohagakure ANBU."

"ANBU," Naruto parroted, eyes bulging.

"Yes, Naruto. You see, I am no mere Ame genin," she whispered, eyes flicking to the sides as if to check that they were alone before leaning in closer, "in fact I'm not from Amegakure at all… I'm-"

"WHAT?" Naruto shrieked, similarly leaning forward in secrecy before ruining the effect with his shout. "What do you mean? Where are you from? Does this have anything to do with why your hitai-ate is all scratched?"

Aiko let out a breath, pinching her nose as she slowly lost the will to explain to this idiot the backstory she had prepared. Jiraiya would probably be back before she even explained what a spy was.

"Tell you what," she beamed, tilting her head to the direction of the street. "How about we go get some food at the ramen stand I saw on the way in?"

"Ramen?" the boy confirmed, yellow stars appearing in his eyes.

Aiko gave the boy a close-eyed smile, outstretching her hand. Her eyes gleamed as Naruto interwove his own digits with hers, guiding him out the doorway of his room and into the establishment's corridor. That was when her gaze settled on the figure frozen at the opposite end of the hall.

"Get away from her, Naruto," the younger Uchiha commanded in warning, poorly attempting to obscure his heavy breathing.

"Teme, what are you doing here?"

Naruto titled his head at the boy, eyes squinting.

"Yeah, teme. Me and Naruto have a date to get to," she smirked, causing Naruto's eyes to bulge as his mouth dropped open and his cheeks flushed pink.

"Uchiha… Itachi," Sasuke growled, his onyx eyes becoming shrouded in shadow.

"No, Uzumaki Naruto," Aiko dead-panned.

"It's been a while… Sasuke."

Aiko flashed her fellow Akatsuki members a dark look over her shoulder as they made their presence known, finding it developing into an overwhelming dark aura as Kisame proceeded to stand between her and Naruto.

"From what I heard, it wasn't too long ago that you would have done _anything_ to go on a date with Itachi," Kisame grinned, enjoying the mutters of death-threats to Kakuzu's latest partner before gripping the handle of Samehada to turn to a tense Naruto. "So, is this kid really the Kyubi?"

Naruto's attention flicked between the shinobi in the room, two of them promising death whilst the other threatened to cut off his legs as he unsheathed his sword.

"Ho… and a Sharingan?" Kisame continued his monologue, enjoying every twitch of response Naruto provided him with as the perspiration grew on his skin. "You seem to be familiar with Itachi. Who is this guy?"

"Oh for Kami's sake," Aiko exploded, pointing at each of them in succession, "Hoshigaki Kisame; fish who thinks he's funny, Uzumaki Naruto; kid who eats so much ramen his nine-tails are probably made of noodles, Uchiha Itachi; most likely murdered his whole Clan over a stick of dango, and Uchiha Sasuke."

Aiko just shook her head and sighed.

"I've been waiting to say this to you. I have lived to hate you, and soon, I shall kill you," Sasuke proclaimed whilst Aiko rolled her eyes, flicking her wrist out as if the boy had just proved her point, whilst the sound of chirping birds filled the room, "I have lived for this moment!"

Lightning chakra concentrating into his hand, Sasuke letting out a war cry as the wall caved into the mere power of what Itachi claimed in a soft voice to be, "Chidori."

Catching his wrist to blow a hole into the wall, Aiko's neck snapped to Naruto to witness his hands form a tiger seal, allowing the Kyubi's chakra to fill the room in a suffocating manner. Paper surged from her sleeves as it formed into the shape of a sword in the time that Naruto moved into a boar seal, her eyes narrowed as his chakra withdrew at Samehada's light touch.

"Dammit, dammit," the boy panicked, smacking his hands together in a ram's seal repeatedly as he tried to complete his jutsu.

"Forget it. Kisame-sensei's sword 'Samehada' eats up chakra at the slightest touch, " she explained, eyes gleaming as she indicated her own weapon. "Unfortunately, 'Kirie' can't do anything like that, so I suppose a limb or two will have to suffice."

Aiko brought her blade down as Naruto pain-stakingly attempted to complete his jutsu. That was when she was tugged back by the collar of her cloak, squeaking as Samehada took her blade's place to meet the arm of a frog summon.

"You don't seem to know very much about me," came a deep rumble from behind the now smiling boy. "I'm better at getting girls than they are getting me. It might not look like it… but that's my specialty."

"Yeah right, you big pervert," Aiko yelled, cutting him off in his self-proclamation of his 'resistance to womanly wiles' and 'sexiness'. "No girl would touch you with a kunai."

"She's right! That girl just winked at you and you were all over her, but now you're trying to look all cool, Ero Sannin!" Naruto confirmed, white-eyed as he pointed a single finger in Jiraiya's direction.

"What? You're agreeing with her?" Jiraiya exclaimed, teeth-bared. "That girl just tried to kill you, AND WOULD YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"No I didn't," Aiko shot back.

"Yes, you did," Jiraiya argued, a single eye twitching.

"No - I didn't."

"Yes - you did!"

From the floor, Sasuke groaned.

"Shouldn't you be focused on those guys over there, Ero Sannin?" Naruto huffed, hands on his hips as if scolding a child, causing Aiko to let out a giggle.

"So, it's one of the Sannin, the Great Jiraiya, eh?" Kisame grinned, eyes fixed on the man as if eager to test his strength against him. "While it's true you like beautiful women, we doubted that such a simple distraction would keep you busy for long."

"Right, you said he was so old he wouldn't take long to-" Aiko continued the sentence in a muffle, her chirp from behind the shark's back lost into his hand as he clamped it across her mouth.

He hadn't realised she had overheard his 'little joke' that he had made to Itachi earlier.

"Anyway," the shark continued, resisting the blush creeping up his cheeks, "it seems you already broke the genjutsu on the woman."

"So you guys used the sharingan to cast a genjutsu on this woman to lure me away? That's not a very noble way of doing things," Jiraiya murmured, setting the woman down to rest her back on the wall whilst Aiko muttered about 'hypocrites' before the Sannin gave her a sharp look. "And you? All this time you've been watching Naruto. Waiting for an opportunity to lure him away."

"That's right," Aiko confirmed for him, no longer deeming it necessary to deny it as Naruto sucked in his breath, watching as her face shifted into a malicious grin, "and you didn't suspect a thing, did you? You thought I was just a Amegakure kunoichi with a crush. Well let me enlighten you to my true identity; **I am Akatsuki's child**."

XxX

"Bastard!" Naruto shouted at Itachi, angered by Sasuke's screams as Itachi pinned him against the wall.

Aiko stepped in front of him, head tilted, "remember what I told you outside of the hot springs? We never got to see who would emerge victorious in a fight."

"Why are you doing this?" Naruto challenged her, fists clenched. "You cared deeply for your teammates."

"I didn't even _know _them," she scoffed, eyes narrowed.

"You saved my life."

"I saved the cute pug."

"You visited Lee in the hospital everyday! You even helped me to find my courage when all I wanted to do was run away," Naruto admitted quietly, a passion sparking in his blue eyes to captivate her attention before lifting his voice back up to yell in her face. "Why would a person like that, be with guys like this!"

"For peace," she growled, lunging at him with her sword, finding her foot had become stuck to the floor.

Her eyes flicked to the walls, now covered in what seemed to be pink flesh.

"Too late," came Jiraiya's deep tones. "You're already inside my stomach."

"That's disgusting!" Aiko shrieked, trying desperately to pull her foot free from the saliva covered flash before pausing to sniff the air and clamping the hand not clutching her sword over her nose, "and it smells! What the hell have you been eating?"

Aiko blanched as the flesh began to creep up her ankles, using her sword to hack at it with vigorous grunts.

"This is the esophagus of the giant toad from Myouki Mountain," Jiraiya explained, palms still resting on the floor, "Since you're criminals, I'm going to feed you to Iwagama!"

"I refuse to be frog food!" Aiko huffed, using the weight of her other foot to pull herself free before realising it too was entrapped.

That was the reason why her arms were now windmilling out of control, her face flying toward as she finally lost her balance and face-planted the flesh.

All the shinobi present blinked at her.

"I HATE PINK FROGGGGGSSSS!" she bellowed, lifting her face free of the esophagus to reveal it was covered in the saliva-like substance, causing the flesh covered walls to shake as if they were in the epicentre of an earthquake.

"Kisame, come," Itachi commanded, turning to his partner.

"Shit," Kisame responded, using his immense strength to tug Samehada free, fleeing before the flesh that began to close in behind him.

Scooping up a screaming Aiko, similarly freeing her legs from the pink flesh, he tossed her over his shoulder.

"You've pissed me off, you perverted Sannin!" Aiko yelled back at them from her position on Kisame's shoulder, violently shaking her fist at the pair. "You'll regret the day you messed with Akatsuki! You're dead!

"Shut it, kid," Kisame growled, flashing her a set of sharpened teeth as he jumped through the opening that was outlined in black flames.

"Why are we running away?" she snapped back. "They were no match for us!"

"There is no need to be hasty," Itachi drauled, eyes focussed, "also my body needs to recover. We must wait. Until 'tsukuyomi' becomes 'amaterasu', we should not use it."

Aiko just stuck her tongue out in response over Kisame's shoulder before turning back in the direction they had come from, opting to rest her elbow on Kisame's back as she supported her head with the palm of her hand. The time to play games was over. The pieces on the board had begun to move, and it was time to cross the board and claim the power she needed to win this war.

She would no longer be Akatsuki's child.

She would become their equal.

* * *

_A/N: Aaannnnddd that's it! Part I complete! Thank you very much for reading and I hope you liked it. Part II... hmm, like I said production has begun, but geez Naruto is a long manga to cover. I'll work on it. I promise! But maybe you could let me know if you want to see anything in particular for Part II? Any things that you think 'that would be hilarious' or 'this would so happen'. It'll be interesting to know actually, and if it works with my timeline (which is all written), why not include it. I think it'll be quite inspiring!_


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